Dark Matter

23/06/2015

1a. Parental Unit

 

 

Somewhere in the abyss, some would say the ‘etheric’ realm, something stirred and this package emerged. Whether or not expected/unexpected, happily received or not, It was unconcerned as its only want was survival. And, so  Its  path  began…

 

 

1a. James Early Phase '49

 

 

During Its early beginnings there was much with which to align and Its pathway was not without peril amidst the myriad of levels on going simultaneously…

 

 

1b. In Father's Arms

 

 

Acquiring Its mobility was a growing concern and, with playtime as Its vehicle, there were no shortages of opportunities for development…

 

 

2. Early Walking phase

 

 

Then, in due time, there arrived a sibling alongside to whom It was assigned responsibilities which took on caring/sharing duties that were happily received/shared…

 

 

3a. Round About '54

 

 

There occurred an unexpected, yet obligatory upheaval in addition to ongoing ones, and there began a sliding towards the Abyss unbeknownst to It until decades later…

 

 

5. About 1yr Later

 

 

After recurring transiency, three relocations within four years, a fourth location emerged, this time with family relations which differed from the previous environments of strangers whose interactions became a conditioned response to which It learned adaptation as a mechanism for survival in upcoming Life situations…

 

 

7. In The Garden

 

 

In due time, according to requirements/designs of others, initiated by the absent matriarch, Its continental relocation was imminent and timely. The Abyss was sensed within as a descending veil, and Its diminishing mindfulness/consciousness was ever-present/felt looming darkly/unseen and Its soul breathed a sigh of relief/a feeling of being rescued – a reprieve…

 

 

9. Before Emigrating '62

 

 

Two years after entering into this relocation space, filled with new/unaccustomed input, Its mind was as yet to regain Its light-of-consciousness. It was half-awake, a walking in the dark so to speak, functioning as best It could in response to what was projected upon It as stimuli for customary/conditioned responses allowing Its survival until such time as It would awaken.

 

 

10. A Special Occasion '65

 

 

The years that followed included realizations of social constructs and Its place in this unaccustomed society. It was treated differently while Its self felt no difference from within and without. Much was gained through this approach to Its awakening process, regardless of external precepts/perceptions-attitudes/behaviours/conducts towards It. It kept learning through whatever obstructions and assistants were presented, through its graduation from high school and into university, a result of an unexpected but determined effort inspired by a red-headed, Irish Mathematician. Not as much was offered as graduation descended, which resulted in its unsuccessful first attempt at higher learning.

In the interim, after that first year of failure and recovery, a mugging was experienced which took two-months of recovery. Its martial arts path and return to higher learning in the field of Fine Arts was gleaned from surviving the assault.

 

 

11b. Outside the Ring  '74

 

 

Its inspiration, motivation-by-mugging, saw him developing beyond expectation. Truth be told, there were no expectations. It simply felt the need to survive, after having bystanders observe Its mugging then leaving It lying unconscious on the street. Two Good Samaritans driving by, instead of over It in the dark on the street where It laid, took it to a hospital and remained with It until Its family members, sister and mother arrived.

Alongside training in the martial arts of Tae Kwon-Do, It returned to university and attempted to improve Its capacity for awakening as It grew decades in Life.

 

 

11a. Varsity Arena '74

 

 

It grew in Time, unaware of Its awakening process in spite of efforts in learning both in academics/visual arts and martial arts. Its intellect grew, yet Its consciousness was still unbecoming and only intellectually unaware. It was a mindful automaton, void of self-awareness unbeknownst to onlookers who projected their idiosyncratic intentions onto It to which he mindlessly responded making errors-in-judgements along the way, giving cause for all manner of projected-judgements to which he was causally unaware. It/he simply kept on growing…

 

 

14. At Cousin's Wedding c. '85

 

 

Time came, and the light began to shine into the darkened sphere of Its/his intellect. There was much understanding but little conscious awareness, as realizations began to emerge. Therein began the awakening process, after many decades of responsive/survival functioning. In Time, It became aware of himself and what had taken place, all that was acquired by happenstance and lost through being unaware, Its instinctive selflessness. Unmindful of living in the moment, he, upon becoming an I, felt an indescribable loss in fully appreciating what occurred along the early part of Its Journey in this Life. He now wonders how much Time is accorded him to enjoy his awakening, after what was previously a perfunctory mindless walk?

 

 

18. Riding in BC '07

 

 

 

Fillers occurred in Its being from the time of Its emergence into this Time/Space Continuum until now. And, now I wonder ‘how many’ have experienced this way of things and how many will enter-and-depart without ever knowing, awakening? There have been many mis-steps with Its/his ‘eyes wide shut’, and those joining in the ride were none the wiser and I wonder at their mindfulness in the process? What’s it all about!??

 

 

22. Memory Recognition 2014

 

 

I am not fully awake, yet I am awake enough to ‘feel’ the pain and wonder if there is any meaning in all of it?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me…

 

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