En Route

28/07/2015

While strolling to a rendezvous of some importance I walked along Market Street in the St. Lawrence area, deemed Old Town, if I’m not mistaken. My nostrils were treated to aromas most delicious from the upscale Pizzeria, boutique Hindi, Sea Food cove, Heath Food cafe and Latin biased stylings. Alas, up onto Front I was assaulted by emissions automotive and chemically enhanced cigarette-tobacco odours. Can’t be altogether healthy now, can we?

 

But, what steadily caught my attention were the people going ‘bye’, hurrying/scurrying home round about me, to and fro. Still, the contemplations arising were of observing exchanges between the homeless/street-people who have their systems of interaction/kindness, not excluding homage paid by visitors. Like the one I saw ‘donating’ a beer to a stationary imbiber engaged in his trade for acquiring his regular finances.

 

Then, there were those who just came and went accordingly/haphazardly, as per their predilections already established/predetermined, yet unknown to this observer. What did occur to me was the age variance of these pedestrians, as I wondered about their personal stories. There were those who sped along as if behind the times, needing to catch up; there were those of nonchalance, their cares albeit substantial were resigned to, due to their realities at play; there were those who seemed lost to their goings on, as if no matter what/how they tried the results would never match imaginings intended; all of various ages, which made observations all the more intriguing.

 

I looked on wondering at the phases and stages that brought each into view. Their agonies and ecstasies, shared and/or in aloneness, some call ‘private’; and, the scrutiny each has endured/survived that remains invisible and most often unconsidered as essential and valued content. I intone, we’ve come a long way (evolved/civilized) as a specie yet regressed in our humanity unless a calamity emerges to level the playing field, for a time; then, it’s back to private worlds, as usual.

 

There’s the dying, a process which we’re experiencing, and the death which is inevitable and fought against as if there’ll be winners! So much to ‘sense’ while among the living, yet the choices biased in the seven deadly sins, termed ‘ego’, is hyped by mind-boggling detractors called innovations/inventions, new and improved, upgrades which keep us unbalanced while we attempt to deconstruct our getting-to-here process, as time goes bye.

 

So long as we refrain from laying the blame out there, we may have a chance. A chance for what, after all I’ve already stated we’re all going to die? We may just have a chance at enjoying ‘heaven on earth’ through our senses, while we still can. But, what do I know? I’m still caught in the vortex of influences I’d erroneously accepted as viable, valuable and essential to my being here. This state is perplexing, a conundrum if not an enigma, all the while a contradiction – a paradox from which the solution, balance/stability appear stagnant. The argument to continue with business as usual, contributing to our inevitable end by accepting unveiled influences.

 

The church bell chimes the hour of meeting and I rise from my contemplative stone-seat to rendezvous on schedule. Maybe, I’ll observe you on my next timely rendezvous?

 

 

 

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Awaiting Godot

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TORONTO Ours

21/07/2015

Try as I might, planning with positive intentions, I may never experience living in exotic/interesting places such as Bali, Budapest, Bruges, Dubai, Edinburgh, Helsinki, Istanbul, Morocco, Moscow, Paris, Sidney, Singapore, to name but a few.

 

 

As above, not so below...

As above, not so below…

 

 

In the distant past, I’ve had two opportunities to venture far afield, overseas, in fact; albeit, on the condition I fight my way across the continent doing battle from city-to-city, in the countries of Germany-Greece-Holland-Southern France.

 

 

France -to- Germany  1976

France -to- Germany 1976

 

 

Although, I did experience a small sampling of the cultural fare of these fair lands, thirty-nine (39) years ago, the visual evidence accumulated on film over a six-week period, in photographs were ‘lost’ according to Kodak who resolved to reimburse me with two-rolls of film as compensation to appease their minds!??

To this day, that summer of seventy-six loss is indescribable, not to mention, accompanied by an unnerving pain!!!

 

 

8a. Toronto's CityScape Eastern Ave '13

CityScape 2013

 

 

 

BUT, I live here, in a wonderful city called Toronto!! A city world renown, a much sought after city as the place-to-live!! These selected views, taken on random walkabouts, are but a few kind compensatory reasons I may never regret experiencing the aforementioned exotic-and-interesting places. After all, the people in those places may never experience our Toronto, which is an interesting complement, wouldn’t you say!??

 

HERE is, Toronto Ours~

 

9b. Panorama '10

My RoofTop View  2010

 

 

 

9c. Balcony Panorama '10

My Balcony View E  2010

 

 

 

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My Balcony View W  2009

 

 

 

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Crystalline ROM  2012

 

 

 

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Viewing OCAD  2007

 

 

 

 

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Heritage Flat Iron Building  2009

 

 

 

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Sunset on King W/E  2008

 

 

 

2a. Development NW '13

NW Downtown: development-in-progress 2013

 

 

 

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AGO  Looking West at Dundas/McCaul  2009

 

Not to be outdone, the promise of another day…

 

 

6a. Sunset on Queen St. '13

Sunset overlooking Queen Street E – W 2013

 

I trust you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane, the pacifier of what may never be in this lifetime… Cheers

 

Olfactory Notations

16/07/2015

After a morning of unwarranted suspicion, a possible precaution by the condo employee after I reported the hot-water was not pouring out of the faucet, I endeavoured to make the best of what was to be an unplanned day, beginning after my interrupted meal and other morning routine.

I ventured out, after a pleasant conversation with the concierge who is a rather decent fellow. Upon exiting the building I was greeted by numerous odours that was less of an assault and more of a greeting into the greater city I was joining. I dismissed the numerous introductions in spit of being a possible intruder, an uninvited guest, because I was simply passing through on my way to an undetermined destination.

I ventured into a few of my usual neighbourhood haunts, places where I could find satisfactory meals and beverages.The initial ones proved unsatisfactory for one reason or another. In fact, the menus did not resonate with my mindset and taste-memory responses. So, I exited one after the other and went further afield reading available exterior-posted menus as I went.

After circumnavigating the region I returned to an irregular neighbourhood establishment, settled myself and ordered a modest fare with a Guinness. Satiated, relieved enough and calm, I ventured onto an embankment situated mid-street where I could people-watch. It was during this watchful period I resumed noting the aromas introducing themselves.

There were many on the wind, not to dismiss traffic and various cigarette tobacco assaults nor attendant noises of the environment present, approaching-departing and wavering. Many odours came and went, briefly mentioning their names and kine until the roast. For this time of year it was an unusual reprint. I kept thinking chestnuts roasting on an open fire, or simply something being roasted, but not meat. Then came the distractions perfumes of unknown origins, until a dame passed ‘bye’ introducing me to a whiff of licorice. Not an unusual odour, but unexpected on a person by my thinking. Then there was vanilla, followed by more toiletries on unknown quality and names, as I sat there enjoying the setting sun on this fine Toronto day.

But, this was not all, as the aromas came and went, and I began to feel the call of my own mind for the aroma of a mocha in order set about relating these olfactory introductions. What began as a possible contentious morning over hot water absence reconstituted into an introduction to sensations often taken for granted or negated in favour of nonsense.

So, how many aromas/smell/odours do you note, and in what capacity do you meet/greet them?

Enjoy…

Consider having your thoughts conditioned electronically, and you conspiring in its capture. The process is rather innocuous, by my thinking, as I observe it in action. I’m included in this action due to living in this day and age!

 

This all began when our predecessors realized tools were essential to our survival. So much so we’re even rewarded the more we adapt to our innovation of tools in their uses. Beginning with the humble sticks and stones right up to our ever-advancing digital spheres. We’re rushing headlong into a mindset where organics are desiring to merge with bionics, and its attendant/intrinsic components of artificial intelligence.

 

I’ve come to notice how readily we adapt to each new Operating System that attempts to match the speed of our internal organic networkings! Throughout the 1980s development appeared ‘slow’ but, as we addressed the 1990s into the early 2000s things developed to challenge our maturing in lieu of convenience. We  were  left  behind, we’re  now  lagging  behind to the point of many being lost and at the mercy of the bright ones, THE HACKERS who threaten our all-round safety! Not simply security, but our SAFETY which is different on many levels.

 

Still, we make do and proceed due to the attendant increased pace of living in this advanced technological age, where artificial intelligence coupling with boutique bio-engeneering has but a few considering the ramifications of such actions on our delicate Biosphere and into the Cosmic Realms of which we’ve no comprehension. In fact, IF there’s Intelligent Life beyond our stratosphere we may be in for more than a contact with the Unknowns.

 

I cannot stress the subtle inferences I’m observing that cries ‘caution’ in spite of advance and conveniences. We’re unintentionally, I trust, unseeing the forest for the trees and will feel the repercussions more so then we already are. I’m sounding vague, but that’s because I cannot speak not only the tongues of readers, but also I’m unable to decipher/translate into the mindsets to offer adequate comprehension of what I actually observe. All I may do is offer this perception-in-words and HOPE there’s some semblance of understanding and direction toward a betterment one at a time.

 

Each time you ‘learn’ a ‘new’ program, consider your actual comprehension of what’s going on inside and out-of-you. Take the time and reflect as you go/grow through Life using technology, adding your intelligence in the process and creating the intelligence behind the actual ‘Artificial Intelligence’ to which many are desire union in their Immortality quest. Is this a brave new world?

 

In Time...

In Time…

 

 

While walking home late one summer’s night, after passing through what remained of the preceding night’s street-performances,called ‘Buskerfest‘ – 30/8/1502:50h, I happened upon a thought of ‘how much I’ll miss this Life when I’m gone’; then wondered, ‘would such a contemplation be possible?’

To be taught to fear by circumstance (Life), which is then followed in support by guilt and its many deprecating henchmen, anger – anxiety – hate – insecurities – depression, to name but a few. This is the answer to my question about the subtle underside of how I became such a protective and giving person, liked by many if not most but only just so much.  28/8/20150044h

Have you ever thought about NUMBERS, how we’re intertwined with its functionalities!?? Well, maybe it’s my current status, a retired-senior, that has inspired this aspect of my observations. Consider, if you will, that from our birth we’ve all been assigned a number, and that was only the beginning. Upon arrival you were given several numbers including birthdate and attendant updating appointments for starters. Thereafter, a few followed suit of which you took to assigning yourself, regurgitated when inquiries about your age was requested during your self-assessment phases. “How old are you?” to which you replied, I am “two and a-half!” with confidence. Too much would be required to mark each influx of numbers upon our being and becoming a person, but I’m certain you’re catching my throws. Today, we’re inundated with cellular and employment/unemployment/passport/citizenship numbers, to name but a few, yet again. So, I need not go any further but to say, is it any wonder we sometimes wonder about our humanity when we’ve been consistently and sequentially reduced to efficient numeral enclosures? Have you ever thought to look to find yourself? 12/7/2015

Silver Linings, the things occurring that appear counterproductive to one’s comings and goings while living a blessed life. One such tome, for me, is this insomnia I now consider a neurological support mechanism to overcome the feelings-of-dread/extreme-anxiety resulting from decades of world-of-work time-management scheduling, esteemed while quietly and systematically consuming my well-being. Such is a process of civilization!??  6/7/2015

M A G E

07/07/2015

I have yet to be aware, or be made aware, of anyone living or dead that can/will reveal her/his whereabout prior to emerging into this realm of existence. I say this with uncertainty; nonetheless, without full comprehension of this time/space continuum. I became aware of living after emerging through the birth canal in a certain place and time, but not until a certain amount of Time had transpired and numerous encounters had taken place to trigger a malady of unconscious origins.

 

While these experiences were taking place, with and without the aid of other personalities occupying similar time/space continuum, I adopted a survival mechanism with paradoxical prospects. It had triggering mechanisms which would threaten my existence, and alarmed those round about me who believed it was their duty/obligation to keep me here, alive, in this plane of existence. On a few occasions I would be hospitalized, unbeknownst to me, apparently considered life-threatening. It’s all a blur and only remembered as I was gaining in consciousness as I progressed in Life.

 

 

2. Early Walking phase

 

 

This paradoxical living strategy is called ‘asthma’! I call it a living strategy because it appeared my emergence occurred at a time of turmoil in more ways than one. Definitely, none of which was intelligible to a newborn. Conditions were felt more than understood, and anxiety and apprehension were companions; and, to coexist with these characters I had to have a survival strategy. Ipso facto, the only one readily available and proven to draw attention and care was one that appeared life-threatening. So, asthma it was in spite of its obvious fatal flaw.

 

While I progressed through Life, the tactic became less and less frequent but it developed a companion, bedwetting, which was to harass me for some time. But, that’s another conditions altogether, one about which I’ll leave for another occasion, if ever. To continue; as Life progressed and circumstances continued their troublesome ways, the asthma kept inserting itself at inopportune times. So much so, I was beginning to wonder, as well as other caring souls around me, if this is how my living would be, henceforth? Somewhere, somehow, a thought occurred to me and I went with it without details or concerns of a successful outcome.

 

 

8. Gunboat Beach c.'61

 

 

What came to mind was that I was to start running. For what conscious reason, or purpose mattered little. I simply started running every chance I got, interspersed with walking until it became a routine. I would walk to slowly jogging to running, and reverse the process for as long  as I could. I began this at the age of eleven, two years before emigrating to North America, the country called Canada.

 

Now, I was not what anyone one would call a robust child. In fact, I looked rather average and without any physical prowess to speak of. Still, I took to the task and found it became an adjunct to the school program when I arrived in high school. It was the practice at the beginning of the school year, in Phys. Ed. class, to run a mile as a test of fitness, or so it seemed. I saw this as a challenge, since no one was allowed inside until four-laps of the track were completed. That accomplishment was to equal one-mile. It was my personal quest to run these four laps non-stop. I was unable to do so for the first two years. However, in the third and fourth year I was able to do so and with increased speed, which saw me and a few other keeners representing the school in the citywide athletic games, in track and field.

 

 

10. A Special Occasion '65

 

 

We were only four, but we entered as many events as would have us, and as our stamina allowed. Our efforts saw us amassing points to pace seventeenth in the city, nothing to sneeze at and something of which to be proud, being only four lads. By the fifth year, a dedicated shop teacher, new to the school, took over as coach and addressed the training situation with attracting others through his classroom connections. A sizeable team was amassed and trained, and that final high school year saw our school, with its proper team, placing third citywide and acquiring The Most Improved School Team trophy.

 

It appeared my intuitive running was in preparation for more than simply running. Truly, I developed increased lung capacity, and asthma attacks lessened over the years and during the process called puberty I had exchanged bedwetting for seasonal allergies, including allergies to other things such as cats-cigarettes-dust-feathers. Oh, how the mind works! Well, I continued with the interval running, improving on distance and rate-of-speed and, as Life would have it, another pivotal occurrence exposing me to the world of martial arts. There was only one occasion, whereupon I experienced an asthma attack, but that was while sleeping, and it was reported to me by my travelling team-mate during a European martial arts tour.

 

 

11a. Varsity Arena '74

 

 

Of course, none knew of my early onset asthma condition for I had listened to the Spheres and cultivated an organic-antidote to a rather serious malady. The antidote was not one-hundred percent, as the European Tour experience had demonstrated, and I learned how such a regression could/would occur. Still, in creating this antidote I had managed having introductions into the world of sports from track and field, North American football, European football (soccer) and Korean martial arts. This last one has netted me accolades ranging from Provincial-National-North American-World titles and induction into four martial arts halls of fame.

 

 

Canadian Black Belt Hall of Fame  Induction

Canadian Black Belt Hall of Fame Induction

 

 

Other health conversions have taken place about which I’ll not elaborate, suffice to say they have cause transitions as I’ve aged amidst this time/space continuum and may continue to do so until the inevitable transpires. Until then, I’ll experience living conditions attending to whatever intuitions The ‘Heavenly’ Spheres denote as best I can decipher them.

This is simply an elaboration on how I progressed on a Path from an unconscious adaptation into present health conditions, with attendant radiant effects along the Way… I trust you are able to find this telling edifying.

Without getting into the quagmire of defining LOVE, I’ll delve into it and trust in your ability to determine the various aspects to which I’m referring. Still, rest assured I am referring to them all, according to my experiences and observations, and/or as some would say, lack thereof.

 

There’s a song of long ago which covers the sensation in the words, “I’ll say good-bye to love” but I prefer ‘giving-up on love’ that I feel is more to the point. Question is, what is ‘Love’? How is it qualified and/or quantified, or do these questions really matter? I mean, are they simply a way of buying time to get into position with oneself in a protective manner?

 

There’s also the quote, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”. Now, what does that really mean and for whom is it better, the person speaking or listening, if one can hear under the circumstances? As in everything, context is key! Where/how is ‘Love’ in your life?

 

Flies in the ointment. There is the non-romantic view that Love is simply a chemical reaction in the body from a set of neurological activities, which is a kind of bonding experience, usually for the survival of our specie or any species for that matter! But, I am want to wonder as I wander through this Life experiencing and observing this phenomena.

 

 

1a. James Early Phase '49

 

 

Let’s go back to the first connection, that of the one automatically set up between mother (parent) and child, and its subsequent nurturing. Is this where the concept is constructed? And, what if it never takes hold, is this where aberrations develop in the myriad of forms society calls illnesses? An interesting premise, if one cares to follow the trails from this early ‘lack-of-connecting’! What illnesses are formulated after this missed-connection, the ability to easily disconnect? I am just wondering considering the other opportunities to make a connection, since I believe connecting is essential in not only the survival of the specie, but also the survival of the individual!

 

Let’s say, for some particular reason this first connection doesn’t hold, or partially holds, and the individual is forced to develop survival mechanisms to re-establish this connect through early childhood diseases? Herein lies possibilities for ‘bonding’ connections of sorts. Getting through these phases is crucial but not necessarily a fulfillment, because Life offers other bonding developments as it appears there is more than one aspect of this ‘loving’ that one is to experience throughout Life in order to fulfill one’s destinies? Any past recollections?

 

What I recall are varied, but early in Life a few experiences stand out as emotional muggings for which I developed a way to not expect consistency, and how to look at occurrences as cause and effect, a reasoning skill set. I marvelled upon meeting people who lived in the same house throughout childhood, as well as the same family connections. I was never made to feel unwelcome, just never an occurring experience until later in adulthood; and, by then anything more than two-years a feeling of restlessness surfaced as anxiety and such. There were areas I chose not to experience as uncertainty was inherently felt.

 

 

5. About 1yr Later

 

 

I cultivated this uncertainty quite naturally in early childhood not only through our transient lifestyle, but also through Life offerings that both excited and deadened me within. The one which stayed with me the longest occurred repeatedly from about age six until age thirteen. They involved the loss of pets, dogs and fish. I was never briefed on animal care, not that it may have made any difference. But, the fish deaths occurred until I figured out the light in the window produced heat, there was no air-conditioning afforded then, and the dogs were different stories altogether.

 

The first memory was going to bed late one night, in one of the different locations during our transient years. Black was tied off on the second landing, outside the door as dogs were not allowed inside the house. Upon waking the next morning, I was kept busy in departing so as not to delve into inquiring about his absence. It was revealed to me later that he had inadvertently hung himself in his attempt to fend off a would-be-intruder. The next three deaths occurred a few years later, one in the interim was simply sent elsewhere, I know not where.

 

During the year between twelve and thirteen, for some strange reason, I felt the need for a ‘pet’. It may have been that need to bond with other than myself and the environmental changes that were occurring. I required a constancy in the form of unquestioning devotion. Somewhere, somehow, I was able to procure a puppy at a new dwelling, just before the start of the school year. Fed and petted, I departed to school only to find him dead where I left him upon my return. Undaunted, I procured another to replace the sudden departure and repeated my previous actions, which I felt had no flaw. The result was the same and I lost something within.

 

I did not know that anyone noticed as it was my own personal drama. Somehow, my dad showed up with a pup from the police pound and instructed the household to monitor the pup while I was away at school. This made a difference. Still, it took quite a few days to expect Bruno to be there to greet me upon returning from school each day. As time passed, we became a team, we bonded and affections developed which was not to last. As Life would have it, this dwelling location was impermanent as the others. I departed the country altogether and Bruno had to be left behind and, subsequently, died in search of me, as I was told. People were entering and leaving my life throughout those years, but none had died, to my recollection. Not until years later, and therein lies other broken bonds which littered my path in Life.

 

 

9. Before Emigrating '62

 

 

 

 

At age thirteen I became another type of immigrant, this time geographic. It’s easy to smile, for there is a lot to smile about. No one truly appreciates a non-smiling individual for it’s a reminder of their preferred forgotten/submerged sorrows. So, where is Love in all this? Has been the impetus all along in keeping us alive and/or is It a symbiosis of sorts by which Life continues and we experience Life? Can we say good-bye to and/or give-up on ‘Love’? Or, are we so inextricably linked that to be born without the instinct for/to love we simply cease-to-exist? Are the so called Seven Deadly Sins a product of our disconnect to Love and loving?

 

 

We come and go in so many ways, and I fear both coming and going are connected to our connection-and-disconnection to this constant called ‘Love’, whether or not believed.

 

 

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Did I stray? I hope not. I simply detoured from popular thinking to lead you on a journey toward your own recollections. I trust you have intermingled fond memories. Cheers…

 

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