Unsettling Reminder          ~           4


The first six-years of my teaching career consisted of auspicious and challenging times offering incremental financial and professional stability. Along the way student loans were being repaid, and day-to-day expenses were being met, while I supplemented my part-time teaching position with part-time jobs, training and competing along with being an assistant-instructor during my Tae Kwon-Do studies.


I did what I could to develop a social circle, attempting to engage in semblances of intimacy with the fairer sex. I had a whirlwind existence where thinking was in the moment, to say the least, with ongoing communication with my art education supporter I fading into the ether.

I was placed in a junior high school which sequestered my attention immediately upon arrival. Synchronistically, it was also at the time I attempted a marriage with my honeymoon relegated to the duration of a long weekend. My teaching experience increased, along with my other avocational endeavours, during which time I was able to secure my first full-time teaching position, albeit on a year by year basis.


It was nine years after graduating from the Art/Dramatic Arts Education Program that the temporal aspect of my full-time teaching retained aspects of permanency. All the while my conditioned observations presumed the external expressions of established personalities round about me were seen to be of issues dissimilar to mine. By their self-possessed exteriors, and wealthy possessions, I believed their lives were experiences of smooth sailing as Life pressed onward.

In time, relocating into a secondary school after my junior high school tenure, memories of my art education supporter faded even further, although not my memories of how her support opened me the opportunity to apply myself towards this career path.

As I was nearing the end of my tenure in teaching, unsettling discoveries about her and my Psychology of Education Mentor surfaced. Chance meetings with colleagues/associates, where reminiscence of the past were shared, brought to mind kind regards about these personalities as well as unpleasant revelations.

Bits of unpleasantness I accepted tempered with my fond regard. Still, I was left wondering, if given the chance, would the ending of their lives bring closure to our relationships that faded over the years? About her, I was regaled with details of the stages of her unravelling, as if in passing.

Unbeknownst to me, her personal life had eroded, with disclosure nonexistent. This non-disclosure, as many refer to as ‘privacy’, leads to dissolution which may or may not have been imminent. The details that came forward illustrated an out of control, self-medicated assistance fuelled loneliness.


A fall that proved fatal occurred while she was on a retreat, which cut short any opening to an opportunity for recovery. Her life may have been but a footnote in the Annals of Life; but, to me, her inputs into my life were noteworthy, highlights that provided me opportunities to actualize what inspired me in that Central Technical High School grade nine Math Class, in 1963.


16. Room 113a Mid-'90s


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