A WIDOW’S SON

26/06/2017

Original

 

Once upon a time when I was but a child our mother, being the astute romantic, realized male-guidance was a requirement in my growth for which she was unnaturally predisposed. Having restricted economic resources her courses of action were sorely limited, especially in using her resources lawfully.

 

Subjected to rigorous influences, she sought out aesthetic avenues to guide my development using whatever means necessary. In her mind Literature was an available and essential avenue. The following is a selection of one of the literary vehicles used to influence/guide/coax me along my path while I grew in Life. I was often left to my own devices and the impressions of this expression sufficed:

 

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!

by Rudyard Kipling

 

Although there were stumbling blocks along my path then and since, for various reasons, few if any were aware the influences that the aforementioned poem had upon my life. Behaviours in response to my being allowed me awareness of what was perceived of my character/personality, albeit just the tip of the iceberg as many alive today are aware/unaware of similar influences and goings on in their daily lives.

 

As you proceed, I bid you all adequate/appreciable support mechanism…

 

 

1c-wandering-mind-c-55

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II Thessalonians C2: V6 – V12

I find it curious that politicians who pride themselves on their Christianity are absentminded on this portion of their belief practice, among many quotable others!??

 

Known

MIRROR MYSTERY ~ 2

22/06/2017

Time waits for no one, allowing us to occupy ourselves as we proceed in Life. I am now privy to another dimension of what was suggested to me back in 1984, adding to what I considered was my handsome appearance, good-looks, being an attractive Caribbean male. This has taken me a while, what my supervisor hinting for me to realize I was a black man in a white-dominated society behaving as if I was simply in a world of human beings visually aware of my skin colour, and with whom I could still engage openly/freely?

 

Curiously, those around me gave no pause in this regard save a few reluctant ones who held biases with which to manage my behaviour in their regard. It appears my untoward upbringing, with its disadvantages, awarded me fundamental carefree behaviours and I was charged to learn to rein myself in according to cultural values and socially imposed limitations. In keeping with these, and other revelations about my Caribbean foundation, I have had quite the time doing this throughout my life.

 

Interestingly, I did receive some timely feedbacks along my route after arriving in this country, throughout earlier school years:
high school, I seemed overly philosophical; university professors, my reasoning processes was in a minority and would create a difficult Life; Teachers College, more power than comprehended; finally, an Industrial Psychologist informed me that unless I learned to rein in how I expressed my intellectual self, I will lose whatever intimate relationship I may desire.

 

That final statement, spearheading many other unmentionables, have proven my current living conditions as forewarned. I am living alone, and my understanding of the processes accommodating those observations are only contributing factors of a larger scenario. Like you, if you have read this far, I am a work in progress. To what end is a matter of conjecture, which is nothing new when I consider all the conjectures by others already experienced, and yet to experience.

 

There you have it, as I go into my next Life experiences…

 

 

18. Riding in BC '07

FACT-FINDING ~ 1

21/06/2017

Data-Gathering

 

Upon regaining consciousness on waking, what is the first conscious thought/feeling to course through your mind with which you approach the day, carry-overs/new/beginnings? Care/able/willing-to-share?

 

 

41b. Water-Spout

MIRROR MYSTERY

17/06/2017

Mirror Mystery    1

Once upon a time when I was a younger man, appearing more dynamic, behaving as I ought under past unaware/unknown influences, for unexplained reasons my then supervisor asked if I had ever looked at myself in the mirror? Awestruck, an unusual question to my mind, not to mention unusual to me, not knowing his referencing other than seeing my rather carefree behaviour while I interacted with those about me.

 

Upon quick reflection, my answer might have sounded glib, but it was in earnest. I replied to his question, “Yes, each time I brush my teeth and comb my hair in readiness for the day ahead.” To my answer, this man who was my superior in my vocation, came this admonition, “Next time, stand longer and look at yourself in the mirror.” To this offering I was even more perplexed, but verbally assented to do as much and waited through the years for his admonition to bear fruit.

 

Time went on, we parted company as I transferred to another location to carry on in my vocation, all the while looking in the mirror only to see my self. Of course, as time went on I acquired data from others around me of my attractiveness as a man, and accepted it in kind as it was my belief that attractiveness and $3.00 would get me a special beverage from Timothy’s Cafe. This was back in the ‘80s.

 

The acceptance of being a good-looking Caribbean Man meant little to me as I was always picked on by female classmates in my childhood/youth, which I took to mean they didn’t like me. It took me a while to realize the import of this, as my assault for my good looks differed in cause about which I came to learn living in this culture. A book and its cover, the usual controversy, which I was to learn in its multi-facetted levels.

 

 

9. Pat M. & Don '86

When we were born our bodies were foreign objects to which we were to become accustomed. The journey was arduous, more so for some and ever more so for many altered by pre-natal accidents and post-natal violent exchanges. What was to come for survivors of these alterations, apart from those from growing into adulthood is a factor some strive to avoid, ignore, hoping those realizations are never to be engaged.

 

While growing into our varying levels of consciousness fingers and toes, tongues, major and minor motor functions ensued with onlookers in various modes of appreciation and apprehension. We, emotionally for the most part, strove to please and gain in agility throughout the early processes. Of course, more than required, were forced to continue in the emotional tug-of-war over our agility’s benefits on becoming athletically inclined.

 

What was overlooked in the process, in athleticism and day-to-day functioning? The gradual deterioration toward the inevitable many spend enormous amounts of currencies to postpone, deter and eliminate. I shall not debate or deliberate if this can, ought-to-be, or will in eventually be accomplished. Simply, that the evidence is there that the quest for immortality has been in the works for some time and is beyond the scope of this edition.

 

We survive, somehow, childhood into our formative years, through adolescence into adulthood stages resulting in senior years. It is then that the sense of truth in living this Life appear to reign in our consciousness, which is the reflection of this piece. Seeing and feeling the incessant creep of waning energies which, regardless of efforts, forces acceptance of the unknown denizens within the Abyss. The final frontier alluded to earlier in a popular TV show, this time going where many have gone before.

 

We leave behind our corporeal form, our living body, without the spark of consciousness whose origins have preoccupied so many philosophers and scientists. More often than not, the significance is consciously lost on those surviving. The transition into the hereafter is felt as a loss to that portion of Life’s Fabric comprising a reality unknown to the living, and only made worse by grief biased on the levels of intimacy felt and remembered.

 

S/he is not truly lost, as I and others ofttimes believe, but in onto the Actual Frequency of Existence from whence we all came. Our vehicles well used, or misused, depending on perspective, are what remain as evidence of our living experiences. Often full comprehended as few were privy to full disclosure even while we lived. The minutia of out remaining Time are results of individual choices previously made and include the adage of “what goes around, comes around”, whether or not believed and we do live to be recipients of those choices.

 

My two-cents worth, take ‘em or leave ‘em, live well – do good – love.

 

 

The Hug

In a by-gone era, there was a poem which resonated so much with the masses a that a soundtrack was designed to accompany it over the radio-waves of the ‘70s/‘80s. What was rarely known was that it was not the only poem discovered in that Old St. Paul Church in Baltimore of 1693. I am speaking of the fabled Desiderata that has since been infrequently resurrected.

 

Over a decade later, I discovered along one of my many walking routes, that other poem presented as a sequel. As is customary, sequels do not fare as well, and less welcomed when the original had such notoriety. It occurred to me this sequel required more from the listener/reader than the first, especially since it did not sound as romantic nor flowed as easily, possibly due to those requirements.

 

If you choose to read it through, let me know how you find its meanings and/or influence(s) on your sensibilities:

 
DESIDERTA II

In whatever religion you have been taught,
However you have been brought up, and
However you have understood your teachers…
on these levels you will understand and grasp this message.
It is not enough that this message be believed.
It is a message to be lived.

The essence of Universal Religion is Peace and Truth,
with Love for and Kindness all the creatures of the earth.
Now is the time to express this essence in your own life.
A beginning must be made, and the place to begin is with and in yourself.
You want to reform the world? Begin with yourself, brother (sister)!
The message of the unreformed reformer seldom inspires reformation.

The heart of all Religion is Love.
Love not only family and friends! —- for love limited is love denied.

Seek peace within yourself and seek, too, within yourself the Divine Breath of Life.

Persist in these things! Do not let up for a single moment!
Through your faith and through your deeds you shape your life and help shape the lives of others, as well. What a responsibility!

The Spirit finds in you Its agent and also Its partner, and to the degree that you are aware of this and act on it, your life is enriched.

A revelation will occur to you… a revelation higher than your exalted dreams.

A New Age is coming, and in it there will be a realization of the Oneness of all.
Differences between the various Religions will disappear. The good, which is in each of them, will be fused and will become the common goal of all mankind.

Know that you have the power to choose! Choose love, not hate; choose gentleness, not violence; choose holiness, not evil.

Dare to believe that the Reign of Love and Peace is coming soon!
Ready yourself for it! Ready yourself for it with deeds of righteousness!
Righteousness is the door-opener, and beyond the door is love.

May power divine enter every aspect of your life endowing it with the rewards of material accomplishments , the treasures of purposeful existence, and the eternal light of spiritual achievement!

Found in Old St. Paul’s Church, Baltimore, dated 1693

 
It impacted psychologically on my sensibilities, more deeply than the first but not to displace its predecessor’s emotional impact. I refer to this sequel occasionally, as needed; and, believe me, these days there is a need…

 

 

Focussing...

In Time…

Lately, I have been wondering about Words in the English language which sound pleasing and/or displeasing to both the speaker and/or the listener. This has occurred to me in my senior years having chosen to put pen-to-paper and wondering how others would read and internally ‘hear’ my words and affix meaning to them for themselves.

 

The Words that became most apparent to me are the ‘death’ and ‘dying’, both derivative of a state of being and unbecoming, so to speak.

 

Upon waking one morning to face the usual unknowns of the day inspire of the odd appointments, voluntary and involuntary, the inevitable came to mind and I was want to write about it from my perspective. Granted, there have been many Words written on the subject from Elizabeth Kubler Ross to The Tibetan Book of The Dead and many in between, some of which I have read from the early 1980s into 2000 following Y2K, another experience where these two-words played their significant parts.

 

Well, lying there I noted the different sensations derived from those Words upon using them in my contemplations. It was many years later that if occurred to me the weight and worth of them in conversation regarding their uses in the media. It is possible, and apparent, that many professions use Words to manipulate and coerce, especially the unaware. The masses, targets of their intents; and, likewise the individuals among the masses to manipulate their fellows, betters and those considered lesser.

 

It is evident that how Words are used affect societies. All one has to do is think upon Economics, Politics and Religions throughout Human History, and all is made abundantly clear albeit overwhelming in recognition. It is what is made clear in the macro aspect of existence that reached to me the overwhelming aspects of its microcosm in deconstructing the what and how of the language to which I have grown accustomed.

 

Two Words impacting on the sensibilities of both speaker and listener, whether or not conscious, still affected to her/his core only left to respond/act according to their inherent history and conditionings. I mused on these Words, amazed at how much softer ‘dying’ felt than ‘death’. Was it in the finality implicated by the latter and the intrinsic hope in the former? I will leave that judgment to you and your sensibilities accorded your particular inherent history and conditionings.

 

I have stated the wherefores and how from my perspective. I have but two other questions remaining. Is it so also in other languages spoken on Earth by humans and, being aware of digital phonics to which we are becoming accustomed, will our future-presents usher in other sensibilities with which to contend through the ever evolving technologies?

 

 

Hope I m not too late, Ba-Ha have a scrumptious bi

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