C R ~ 2


CONTEMPLATING  FEAR               2.


To where I am going is as uncertain as my preparedness, since whence I came is fraught with adventures rife with drama. There were the emergence, a sibling followed by a separation, then divorce, which were but the tip of the iceberg; not dissimilar to many of you reading this journal.


Those earlier years were transient and any notion of stability not only did not exist, but also were the origins of my restlessness in later years. This trait kept me on the move, while happily exposing me to Nature as counter-balance. Amidst all the uncertainties of placement in home and family life, there was the addition of separation between age seven and eight.


By age eight, my younger sibling and I were relocated to live among strangers for a period of time, which amounted to four years. We lived in three residents with the guardian and a changing household in those four years to which a fourth was added by transiting to our paternal grandparents home. Our maternal relations were scattered here and abroad. Nothing was revealed in preparation for moving, but this lasted only one year and we were again relocated. This time a migration by air, an eight hour flight, reuniting with our matriarch to her matriarch’s home.


This reunion was an interim position, and we were once again on the move. In the six years that followed we were to experience five residences, after departing our maternal grandmother’s home. Thereafter, I relocated to a university out of town, which lasted one year due to inadequate counselling.


Returning from an unsuccessful year away, I entered a different residence. More transiency ensued, but due to early childhood exposures to unstable living this uncertainty was my normal in spite of how it might have appeared to onlookers. I was in that new residence for two years when conditions again changed and I was forced to relocate. There I was to begin the learning of the foundations to my early childhood conditions attributing to my restlessness, and other behaviours, misinterpreted by others according to their lifestyle biases. I unexpectedly resided there for ten years, the longest I had lived anywhere in my then thirty years of life.


Doing the Math: approximately ten locations in thirteen years in the country where I was born; and, in the country I now reside in, nine separate residences by the time I was thirty. The total being nineteen places-of-residence all told, with no one the wiser as Life had us all busy in survival mode while unaware of our similarities because of specifics.


Where the residences were concerned, I have slowed down with the motor still revving in other areas as I learn by and bye of other troublesome aspects.





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