P ~ S ~ I … 2.

27/03/2018

Police   Services   Interactions   …   2.        

         ~Newcomer’s  Orientation~

 

The year, 1962; I emigrated from the Caribbean into a mixed-culture and, being of mixed-heritage, I did not give this pre-dominantly Caucasian society a second thought. 

 

I was in the early stage of orientation, when my mother asked me to meet with her not realizing my directional ignorance. On the transit, streetcar, I engaged in conversation with a stranger and was unaware I had missed my stop. Undaunted, I remained on the streetcar enjoying the view of the city passing before my eyes. I was beginning the process of making it my home. 

 

Unaware of my location, and thinking I had further to walk, the streetcar arrived at end of the line, and continued walking in the direction it was headed. It hadn’t gotten cold, but it grew dark rather quickly being early October, I believe. It was another new experience, for this Caribbean youth wandering about as I usually did in this unknown neighbourhood. As was my usual manner in earlier times on my island home, I wandered about until I felt I required assistance getting back to my new residence, and my mother with whom I had not met. 

 

I reverted to a customary behaviour pattern, waving at an approaching yellow police car. It slowed as it came near, then came to a stopped. I engaged in easy conversation, although I forgot what transpired. I found my self seated in front on the passenger side of the cruiser as a result of our conversation. The officer and I continued cordially, with this young newcomer with a thick accent. I was unaware Of my accent, but I was familiar with police officers; although, he was unaware, I now ascertain. 

 

It wasn’t long before our conversation took an unexpected turn, when this officer casually broached the subject and inquired if I was ‘running away from home’?

 

To this, I was dumbfounded and speechless. I pondered the question internally. I asked myself the question, “Who runs away from ‘home’?” Also, this police officer was unaware of the drama/trauma of emigrating into this culture. All I could do was attempt to assure him ‘I was not running away from home’! After all, it was my thinking, this was to be the first home living with my sister and mother after five years absence!

 

We arrived at the Police Station, information was exchanged and in a short time I was reunited with my mother once again. While we were heading home, I retold the entire tale to my mother, and I concluded with the question, “How could the officer ask me if I was ‘running away form home’? I mean, who ‘runs away from home?”    

 

 

 

c. 1962

Turning Point~  c.1962

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P  –  S  –  I                                                1.

 

You may or may not be aware of the saying, “You don’t choose your family”, even if orphaned. I came to comprehend this reminiscing on my early childhood, the unfamiliar becoming familiar.  Much had occurred round about me without ever receiving direction into any kind of vocation, private or public service. Aspiring to what appeared an emerging tradition as my father, uncles and an aunt may have been possible. Exploring one of the varying aspects of the police department.

 

Nonetheless, upon emigrating to another country, I briefly considered becoming a police officer. Joining this country’s police force, would have made it a family tradition. But I learned carrying a firearm was policy, while my country of origin only the military carried firearms. Not only was it an unfamiliar concept, but also an uncomfortable feeling having such a practice. This new construct of carrying a gun, inspired me to explore other vocations, setting me on a path unfamiliar to all my predecessors. 

 

Words of encouragement, not fully thought out, led me into random experiences as I began my adolescent phase. Orienting myself to this country which differed from my birth country, I encountered many situations allowing me opportunities to learn the dynamics of this environment, as ‘Time went bye’. 

 

These following stories will illustrate experiences that enabled me to comprehend the attitudes and attributes of those biased towards my ethnicity. Although, I was unaware of the untoward ahead of me along this path, a minefield fraught with the intermingling of ignorance and mindlessness, I was to benefit from what was revealed through those behaviours.

 

There is a Toronto Star newspaper article, dated 14th July 2017, reporting a case of mistaken identity. A police notice which stated, “be on the lookout for a bald, black male of 5’ 10”; unfortunately, a woman of 5’ 2” was arrested and viciously beaten by a police”. This news report opened a chest of dormant memories I shall reveal in the coming weeks for your amusement, edification and discourse. 

 

These are encounters occurring through the years, beginning in 1962, after emigrating from the Caribbean. There were no carry overs since our family construct experienced dynamic changes moving forward. Entries will detail content and context for your waiting mindsets. Enjoy …

 

 

18. Riding in BC '07

LATE-NIGHT    DELUGE

 

When I lay me down to sleep I oftentimes wonder in which time/space continuum I’ll awaken. Will it be the one in which I had lain myself down to sleep the night before, and will all be well save the happenstance on hold awaiting my dedicated continuance nuanced by random-spontaneity?                                             Oct./Nov. 2017

 

It’s late in the evening, after-midnight in fact, that time bed before sleep wraps me in her bosom. All is quiet, thoughts of death emerge in my consciousness as a wonder of wonders. Unlike Asimov, I do not contemplate, “Do robots dream?”; but, I do contemplate what I consider obvious, “Do all people grapple with this idea of the inevitable, the issues of death and dying?”                      January 2018

 

The more I experience creative works in the mediums of cinema / theatre / television, I lose my optimism for the future of humankind fuelled by a kind of realism and pragmatism.                                                                            January 2018

 

There’a only so much one can accomplish alone, and I’ve done so much. What is witnessed/experienced of me from here on out is but the result of strained effort. The type comparable/referred to in Shylock’s monologue in ‘The Merchant of Venice”, if you know of it!                                                February 2018

 

 

 

Melancholia 1

A L F I E

 

What’s it/this all about? Are we here/there yet?

 

Making plans the outcomes of which we’re truly unaware in spite of our best intentions. Well that’s how it’s usually been for me and I’ve learned to fly by the seat of my pants, going with the flow as the sayings go.

 

I step out my door, with the only intent being kitchen-style bridge with fellow seniors at the local community centre. Two hours later, I’m in the mood for a stroll and being hungry a favoured spot for a ‘kalbi’ taco.

 

Along the way, I stroll facing traffic, I happened upon a much more senior fellow crossing the street. The changing traffic signal isn’t programmed for the likes of him, an octogenarian with many more years added and those lined up in traffic are not amused. It was incumbent on me to give assistance, so I signalled with my hand and the streetcar and car alongside were decent enough, and allowed us to make our way to the sidewalk before going along their merry way.

 

We have never met, much less being aware of each other before literally crossing paths. He’s an ancient Asian and I, a senior multi-national Caribbean born.
I have seen the transition from propeller to jet-engine aircraft. I cannot imagine the transitions in technologies he’s experienced! But, that’s is the nature of things that I wish our language disparity and cultures could bridge, allowing us share how our journey has been along our way.

 

During my earlier years, after emigrating to this country, I have had the pleasure of many exchanges with strangers, quite often fellow immigrants, mostly eastern Europeans. They disclosed, while I learned and broadened my horizons, oddly enough lightening the load I unconsciously carried. I learned people the world over held a history whose content and context, not only held similarities but also beneficial contributions going forward in Life.

 

No need to compete, but listen and collaborate, and evolve into the human beings we’re meant to become. The way I’ve learn, anyway …

 

 

 

6. Growing Still

W – O – W

09/03/2018

WAS   ONCE   WED

 

In continuing with my observations reflecting on the quantum ‘Butterfly Effect’, I offer this: personal intercept, with benefits I have yet to ascertain.

 

Three years prior to 1983 I met a woman towards whom I was enamoured; and, subsequently, and unexpectedly proposed marriage. During that phase of my life, I was quite the energetic, carefree, hyperactive individual unaware of my personal deficiencies which had affected previous liaisons, this betrothal included. This marriage was brief, to say the least, as we separated after three-months.

 

It is said, we learn through experience, but I had much to learn looking upon past decades.

 

Our separation spanned three years, by law then; and, by October 31st 1986, our divorce was finalized. It was during our separation that I had opportunities for healing intimacies. During those experiences I discovered women who exhibited sincere marriage characteristics more so than my matrimonial choice. It became evident that I was in an ongoing phase of learning, discovering the deficiencies of my interpersonal relationship reservoir/vocabulary. Through my early twenties I was engaged in superficial experiences biased by others impressions to which I was simply a responder. It was not until decades later that it became clear to me, including what others meant when they told me, “I was not the marrying kind!”

 

Many had exclaimed this to my face, and I denied that exclamation. I could not even imagine what was being said in my absence. Little did I know, or realize, or anyone else for that matter, that all of us were correct but for different reasons.

 

During my formative years, I had scant nurturing in the fundamentals of family settings. Acclimating to afforded limited family opportunities, I usually chose to be alone, to go ‘walkabout’ and commune with Nature. By so choosing, I acquired minimal interpersonal relationship experiences when they were served up. My younger sibling was more exposed to such opportunities and was able to garner nurturing that afforded her more of those interpersonal relationship skillsets.

 

Communing with Nature was a path I had chosen allowing me to survive as per gender expectations, then and now, according to the societal infrastructure of that era.

 

We are all afforded choices through multi-layered biases, whereby we sink or swim accorded through decisions made. Our accompanying socialization skillsets taken for granted, whether on instinct/intuition and/or modified by Providence, our way forward is actuated with behaviour patterns beneficial and deficient.

 

I have observed most everything untoward occurring in your life, with collateral rippling effects thus far, into this year. Hope springs eternal, not necessarily as ‘the eternal sunshine of a spotless mind’, but because my recall is comprehensive to a fault making me acutely aware of when/how my life went off the rails. More accurately, how I am where I am, via the nurture-nature construct of my being.

 

By design, I truly am ‘not the marrying kind’; unless, by some miracle a quantum shift unfolds.

 

 

 

12c. On Frederick

DIGITAL AGE

 

It appears the ‘digital age’ has provided humankind with more than many unintended consequences deemed essential during the many mechanistic developments. In the process there was the loss of human connectivity, all the while promising quick ’n easy connectivity and improved living conditions.

 

Technological advancement without mature human spiritual functioning to sensibly balance the user operations intended.

 

Agree or disagree, look around, reflect and contemplate your navel!

 

Unless your mind has already fallen victim to its viral infection of convenience, you will find more than enough examples within your own life peculiarities to admonish much in our living conditions! I leave the findings to your particular predilections.

 

 

 

 

Connected Disconnect

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