Journal ~ Precipitation … 5




Let’s be clear here. This is not about you. Each night, awaiting sleep, I conjecture the notion that at any moment I could die, albeit not simply pass away; unless, I was one of the fortunate ones. Heck, I often wonder if I am really here and not imagining all this until acceptance is assured, then move on.


Crazy, isn’t it? 


Well, the number of times I could have died, I wonder if I hadn’t and I didn’t simply slip into another phase of being awaiting confirmation of what I hadn’t realized? Aside from being rescued from drowning at 12yrs young, or leaping onto a nearby tree as I slipped along a sloping rooftop at an earlier age, there are a number of incidents where I returned from a blank-experience to the world continuing.


I was knocked unconscious numerous times, in and out of water, and survived auto accidents, the most recent being the Summer of 2016. The most memorable was resuming consciousness, while being lifted onto the backseat of the auto of two Samaritans in 1970, and taken to Mount Sinai Hospital’s Emergency. I have stared down the barrel of a semi-automatic pistol and kicked unconscious in the back of the head by a competitor, who was subsequently disqualified. Damage already done there, nonetheless; also, being struck in the head by an unseen thrown softball, and resuming consciousness after a 3m-tower diving accident with nary a lifeguard being aware. I walked myself to the emergency where I was to spend eight days recovering from a hairline fracture and a perforated eardrum.


Those are recollections that dance through my consciousness upon sinking into the subnambxulistic, sleep/dream state. How is it am I still here, if I am still here? 


Granted, during these in-between incidents others have come and gone; family, friends, family of friends, friends of family and acquaintances becoming friends! I slide into this state called sleep wondering upon waking, am I continuing where I left off or have I slipped into another zone of reality not unlike, ‘The Quiet Earth’? 


Well, let’s get real here shall we, can we?



7. 'Returning Home' Nine Twenty-Four AM

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