F L U I D I T Y 



Wednesday was quite the day, cursively called HUMP DAY! Of course, it had everything most people disregard, the foundations behind each day called the ‘PAST’ and unworthy of consideration. This day began following steps begun long ago. I returned to a notification that required the prompt action of getting my auto in working order, allowing the notified activity to take place.


Earlier, it was suggested I replace the Alternator which was to be countermanded by a diagnosis made by my auto-club personnel. What began as a quest to replace the Alternator was circumvented by a more accurate appraisal showing a NEW Battery was required. However, due to the age of my auto, a specific battery had to be found which was not in the possession of the auto-club’s personnel vehicle. Thus, began my engagement in a round-robin lasting 3hrs, from start to finish, before the appropriate battery was installed.


The battery being replaced, brought to the fore I had not had the customary breakfast. I set out on a stroll into Chinatown for dim sum. Having had the dim sum, I embarked on a circuitous route to the Art Gallery of Ontario. This time, not to look at art but to go through unattended mail delivered during my 35day absence. That duty was completed and collated; then, I proceeded to return to my neighbourhood by way of WINNERS, whereupon I bought a pair of walking shoes, having worn out a pair of shoes and sandals. 


In-house, preparations were made to attend a political campaign in support of a worthy candidate. Upon leaving the event, a decision was to be made. Return to my condo or unwind over a craft brew? I set out walking westward, noting I had decided on the brew. 


Outside the establishment, I happened upon a couple in debate. I suggested the pub they stood in front of and where I was a longtime patron. We entered, I was in front guiding them down into the heart of the establishment. I cozied up to the bar, near a personable acquaintance and begin a discourse on various topics. The game of cricket surfaced as my ally was departing, but he kindly located a cricket match on the telly, Barbados vs. Jamaica. Point of viewing entry was Barbados’ roster line-up ending. He took to departing after a few overs, and I remained to enjoy the game.


With Jamaica’s line-up, I embarked on a conversation with another amiable soul, this time from Australia, with companions of Canadian and US origins. We commiserated on the game, along with a myriad of other topics. We exchanged tales of our experiences while Jamaica appeared in a challenging position. Before the finale, a few words were exchanged with my Aussie acquaintance and his friends, as they departed.


Turning to catch the game’s finale I engaged in another conversation, this time with the line-cook of the establishment. Education and matrimony were parts of our conversation, enlivening as well as pleasant criss-crossing cultural arenas. It was time for me to depart, being slightly inebriated, but not before venturing to purchase some coconut water for my morning beverage-mix.


On exiting, I picked up a NOW magazine to review the details of the headline about bicycle culture’s interactions with automobile culture, and proceeded to the location for the intended coconut water. Coconut-Water in hand, I sauntered to my abode while reflecting upon how special this day was with its challenges eliciting changes and exchanges, in a most fluid way.


Many things were accomplished, not necessarily in the manner and/or order I had intended at first. But, once the first item was completed I set in motion a series of activities which flowed one into the other seamlessly, precipitating my appreciation of all that came to pass. I take nothing for granted, going with the flow, and wondering what was to occur in Throwback Thursday, the day that followed in the steps of Hump Day?  




1e. Jamaica's BobSled Team:Sochi 2104 13.7.18




In 1962, I departed Jamaica for Canada. Synchronistically, Jamaica finalized its independence; simultaneously, it was exposed to Television, of the US variation. 


I recall looking upwards onto television sets perched in the crook of trees viewing introductory transmissions. There were no opportunities affording discussions for thirteen year old, so I simply watched the broadcasted programmings before departing the park. I had other things occupying my mind. That of emigrating and reuniting with our mother after 4yrs among strangers, and 1yr with relatives.


Upon arriving in Canada we began what I consider another level of adventure, unprepared and unlike anything preceding. 


Time passed, the world changed as did the people occupying the landscape on each continent. Sadly, retrospective examination of Jamaica’s, and so-called developed nations globally, I have liken television to early Spanish explorers’ scheme of infecting Natives dwellers of the Americas with germ-ridden blankets. Only this time, the infection spiraled out of control over decades without any vaccine, except maybe education, which allowed what had occurred to spread unnoticed but in plain sight! 


There has been debate in the developed countries linking violence of all types to programming contents. Nothing definitive has been accepted, yet I do not dispute there is a connection albeit specifically undetermined. I recall that Jamaica, like most native cultures, had been accepting and tolerant of its citizens diversity. I discovered, through observation, discord may have been brewing needing only especial conditions to force eruption onto the social scene. This came through the television programmings, namely fundamental religion injected onto minds receptive to literal biblical translations influencing behaviours for the worse.


Jamaica, as with many other societies, grew intolerant and furious against any and all religious promptings that claimed “God’s” disfavour, biblically identified by evangelical promotors. Synaptic connections were made in minds chemically disposed, believing divinely favoured. This was a drug-of-choice requiring no medical identification to be listed a Harmful Drugs by the Legal System, since it served the purpose of conflict and divisiveness within the class-conscious unconscious.


The die was cast through subversive/subtle promptings, accepted according to biased circumstances favoured in unrecognized conditionings. Nothing is worse than a disease going unnoticed until it’s too late, consistently misdiagnosed and mistreated while the infection spreads claiming lives as Time goes bye. 


Considering, the health and well being claimed reversals over civilized time by laudanum – cocaine – alcohol – tobacco – etc., psychological connectivities have yet to be made going forward as our specie evolves (devolves?). My observation may be a moot point, especially if past the tipping point. Are we devolving, exiting this dimension as did other Earthly inhabitants that preceded us?


All evidence appears to favour, if not approve this theorem.





8b. Water Fountain




On this Life-Boat we call Earth, over the years I have observed there’s much I am to learn while others have much to unlearn.       

Awaiting the cover of sleep, I reflected upon how fortunate the unfortunates were in my life. I endured. I overcame maladies, capitalizing on circumstances beyond my control whereby I was able to recognize and make use of alternatives that allowed others to endure and overcome.

No matter what and/or how much I overcame, I am overcome with gratitude for the challenging-opportunities I have received that netted me allotted comforts, while respecting those undergoing and overcoming relative circumstances with whom I would not trade places.

Without knowing the functioning minutia in others’ lives, I can but imagine we are all where we are for a purpose. 

Appearing without rhyme or reason, is it all reasonable and purposeful? Simply put, many refuse to recognize and acknowledge the Truth replacing It with ‘factual’ rationalizations.  

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.    







After my timely assault, and after my lengthy recovery I returned to my place of work. Studying the Korean martial art of Tae Kwon-Do began, after locating the instructor and his dojang/school. I was resided in the basement apartment of my late-stepfather’s home, in a predominantly caucasian and Jewish neighbourhood. The relevancy of the neighbourhood’s demographics was foreign to me, since my ignorance and naivety regarding civil rights had yet to be awakened as motivation for the assault that had befallen me the prior year.


Time passed, I began intense training having had life-and-death as motivating catalyst. What I had not realized still was that I was being transformed from a ‘coloured’ teen into a man with a stereotyped mantle I had yet to discover. Never having had a dad growing up, immersed in a female diaspora, that aspect of my gender development was left to circumstances and conditions to which I adapted, as Time went bye. I worked, living from day-to-day within the confines of my knowledge base, and navigating a limited path determined by the martial arts added to what engaged my home life.


The schedule of those early years did not afford me much, finances being limited as they were. My mother was a single parent raising her two children, and being the elder it was my duty to lighten the burden involved. I was not aware of the income ratio of men to women, much less the ethnic limitations relative to my nationality relative to other immigrants. There were opportunities to find work, and I was not partial nor prideful because earn enough funds to lessened living expenses in the household. Not much was said and I knew little of the financial burden, so I simply worked with few demands being made of me.


My routine included being at work six-nights per week, and training three-days per week. Training sessions occurred before my night-shift and I carried a duffle-bag with a sweat-soaked uniform home after work. As I didn’t drive, I’d catch the last bus and walk the remainder of the way to our home in the dead-of-night. It was on one such occasions, trodding through freshly fallen snow, that a police-car pulled alongside me with two duty-officers within. 


One on the officer’s on the passenger-side greeted me and queried where I was going? I replied I was on my way home. He asked, from where? To this I replied, I was returning home from work. He asked what did I have in my bag? I told him. Would I be willing to show him, he asked? Certainly, I said, and did just that. I then asked, what was this all about? He said, there had been a rash of break-ins and it was their duty to establish the identities of solitary personages at this hour. Our mood being cordial, we bid each other farewell and I continued along the way to my residence. 


The air was fresh and brisk, the snow being freshly fallen. My measured steps sank into the snow on the sidewalk. I was six-blocks from home, and I was the sole spirit-walker in that hour. Arriving at my basement apartment, I ate a late-supper before succumbing to sleep, to begin another eventful day upon waking. 


Just another day along the way Life provided.




“the FUTURE is in the Past”~

Hawaiian Proverb



There is a rhyming tease I was prone to repeating win childhood ignorance which many have repeated on many continents. You may know it. It goes, “Eenie-meenie-minie-mo, catch a ’n’ by the toe; if, he hollers, let him go, eenie-meenie-minie-mo.” I used this rhyme on a few childish occasions, as memory serves, without knowing its actual import. 


Time passed without having the need to repeat its use. Circumstances resulted in moving to another continent where I was to learn this empty childhood term had a negative meaning, along with other terms peculiar to cultures around the globe. The first time I heard the ‘n’ word used off my birthplace its meaning eluded me, but I was held to task about which I was ignorant. I was not informed of the hurt it engendered, never having had the experience of the word’s content.


Similarly, terms ‘cracker’ – ‘kike’ – ‘wop’ were added to a list as time passed in my experiences from the 60s into the 21st Century on this continent. Unseemly jokes were added into my vocabulary by those I accepted as friends, which I repeated in social situations, as I did in childhood without knowing their History. I recalled social events in which I repeated jokes in ignorance, with holocaust implications. 


Looking back on my naivety, simultaneously I felt anger and shame. Shame of how pleased I was in the humour that the joke solicited, and anger at the one I called friend who told me the joke. Curiously, my ignorance of the historic quality of the joke was a factor; he being German I wondered if he was similarly naive as I upon hearing and transmitting the joke? A moot point. The resolution to that query will not be forthcoming as we parted ways 35+yrs ago.


My life became hectic, as Life often supplies conditions to foster such goings on. I was a dedicated student, active in the education system’s offerings with economic issues demanding I work after-school, weekends and during the summer months whenever possible. Fortunately, none of my occupations and social situations exposed me to the ’N’ word usage, coming or going. In fact, during my university years the word throughout the 60s and 70s the word was never applied to my personhood, which upon recollection appears quite unusual. I must have been under “Maxwell Smart’s Cone-of-Silence”, which is quite the insular, ‘Twilight Zone’ experience! 


Moving forward, the ‘n’ word not being a part of daily experience because work and sporting activities occupied my time. In general, I became aware of the use of the word as I ventured into the adult realm. There were a few times when casual game selections elicited the use of the ‘eenie-meenie’ rhyme, but through regard for my presence the ‘n’ word was replaced with a generic, more favorable term. Throughout the 80s/90s, I noted social conflicts around the necessary use of the ‘N’ word. I became aware of its referencing to my personage indirectly, on a job in ’70 but the issue was dealt with by another defending my honour. 


Much later, I became embroiled in discussions of its use, of its origins and opposing the desire to “make it ‘their’ own” by those of similar ethnicity in the latter years of the 20th Century. Today, I have resolved the use of this ’n’-word as I originally did in childhood with an addendum. It was a word of untoward origins which has no place in my life, allowing its use to those others who are unenlightened of their origins.


I am a Spirit experiencing Humanity in Time on Earth, traversing from birth into death attempting to comprehend this Stardust quality that Life affords as spoken of in philosophical statements with astrophysical overtones. Whew!!?






a  R A M B L I N G  mindset



“When we substitute a threat for argument, violence or principle, we allow our passion to overcome our capacity for reason. Passion and self-interest are threats to liberty.”~ Professor Thomas C/The Pelican Brief


“The first 26 graves in the Virginia City Cemetery were occupied by murdered men.” Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)/Bonanza episode


Switching Timelines…

There are times when I participated as Cupid’s agent throughout my lifetime. An earlier assignment occurred during my initial post-secondary journey when I saw two students experiencing an amorous attraction. Introduction appeared prudent which resulted in the beginning of their committed relationship. Not so further on.


My amorous ambition were thwarted by a sentence spoken by my new bride, new to me albeit not to her. My emotions, thrown into turmoil resulted in our parting of ways. A string of partings followed for others I encountered from odd patterns unbeknownst to me. In retrospect, I surmised my presence tipped the scales for one or both partners to chose to end their partnerships. There were parting of ways followed by newer beginnings, which I witnessed, but not their fulfillment.


Decades later, I wandered into another passion-filled partnership which was prematurely ended due to the emergence of unaware abandonment issues. The parting was the result of another uttered sentence unbeknownst to my partner, and to me at the time of her utterance. Her words flushed a longstanding trauma, a working catalyst from my unconscious mindset into consciousness. It appears my life experiences were synchronized with Life’s goings on to expose my early misadventures to the light of reason, previously unknown to all concerned.


The saga continues …     


“Different time, different empire, same graveyard.”~ Viktor Cherevin/Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit 




6c. Ate Feh 24.5.10

%d bloggers like this: