REALLY  ME   ~   ACTUALLY  YOU

 

 

When someone likes the look of you and you like the look of her/him, what is it that appeals to your sense ‘n sensibilities as relayed to your mindset? Do you fret as to whether or not it’s the ‘real’ you being perceived? Do you consider the actuality of your perceptions before choosing to engage with the personality in front of you, or do you simple move on your conditioned reflexes believing your perceptions?

 

According to experience nothing is certain, even it perceptions are accurate since nearly half of engagements are reported to disengage down the road.

 

Do you think you know the ‘real’ of anything/anyone going about the day-to-day world of affairs as the world appears to have lost Its bearings on all Its levels of comprehension? The physical ‘about’ a person is easily perceived through many of the available physical senses, but they may be interfered with by today’s realms influenced through technology. Especially, if one’s gestation period is interfered with, not to mention early and formative years into adulthood! Mush is assumed in spite of the inculcation of cultural and ethnic similarities, and the familiarities throughout one’s growing experiences.

 

It appears to me, much of what ails us lies not only in the unconscious, but also in the subconscious of which many prefer not to know much less become aware exists. What do you say? 

 

 

 

 

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B U L L Y     4    Y O U

 

 

Once upon a time in a country not too far away lived a young fellow who trusted those round about him. As Life would have it, his living conditions were complex outside of conscious awareness as he went from day to day. On his island country of origin he was unaware of how bullying occurred since it was not a part of his small world, not even during his junior school years. He was insulated from the female/male dynamics which pressured his primary caregiver, and influenced the lives of their family unit of three.

 

Time would be his Master, as with everyone else, and would facilitate emigrating to a long overseas. He was to discover that Life was to unfold in ways beyond his imagining. 

 

He was registered in a public school to continue with educating his mind and spirit accordingly. Unknown to him was the fact that his earlier schooling was beyond where he was placed by his new country’s standards. Still, he engaged in the process because there were other attendant issues. A reunification and many social issues requiring orientation, not to mention financial aspects to which he was to learn matters more than he cared to know.

 

He completed his initial school year, graduating into secondary school where he was to experience conflicts and confrontations of origins outside his mindset. 

 

Waiting outside a classroom one afternoon, he was set upon by a number of students and he reacted by trying to fend off what was an assault in progress. Immediately, larger and more responsible students interceded in his defence. All were of ethnic origins different from his but similar to their kind. What ensued was the instruction to leave me be and no longer interfere with my comings and goings. It appeared I had acquired unsolicited guardians for unknown reasons! I can only surmise it was due to my quiet and gentle nature as I engaged openly with all.

 

Unlike what I see in news items on this 21st century, where students set upon those deemed foreign and worthy of physical and mental abuse while onlookers videotape or remain silent. What has changed I can only imagine, and would make no difference in me only knowing and understanding.

 

Of course, I was able to evade the high-school bullying but not the ones that awaited as I proceeded into adulthood. Suffice to say, I was able to make the better of a troubling situation going forward through the unaware/unexpected assistance of varying troubled mindsets learning things are never as they seem, even me.  

 

 

 

 

Sunday Best c.'62

KNOWING  –  the  –  NOW

 

 

Observers know little to nothing of what is ongoing, especially the decision-makers because no one discloses up-to-date information.

It is undeniable, Life results in Death; Death results in Life. 

I dare you to consider the preceding two sentences amidst all that’s transpiring during waking hours and not lose any sleep on the matter. 

I have, and still I find no comfort contained therein; subsequently, I resume my journey ageing out going forward. 

 

 

 

Connected Disconnect

DIM SUM      EXCHANGE               c.90s

 

 

Some time ago I shared a table in what was then my go0to dim sum restaurant. I had been there, awaiting my order, when the waiter placed another nearby at the same table. We greeted one another, as civil people do, and she went about her business choosing her selections. As is my custom, I set about making a sauce concoction for what was to come in my order. 

 

My table partner identified herself as a member of the First Nations People and I Jamaican born. She remarked upon observing my mixture as being a powerfully looking sauce. I was uncertain as to her meaning, then she said it was of a strong-looking taste. I had never thought of it as such and simply said, “Oh, I guess it is” and added, “I find it complements the selections I’d chosen.” 

 

Our dim sum selections were then placed before us and we began eating. We continued our conversing while we ate.

 

One of our conversations included the usual, “What do you do?” I regaled her with the litany of activities both vocational and personal. She listened patiently, and as I concluded my list there was a slight pause. She looked straight at me and asked, “Who supports you?”

 

I went silent, looking down into my plate of food. I had never considered this aspect anywhere in my doings. Where did my support reside, whom do I assign this claim? I reflexively replied, ‘Divine Guidance’, a faith-biased thought at the time. 

 

It has been decades since our chance sharing and I still have that as my only answer to her question, all happenings considered; the world revealing its meaner aspects as Time goes Bye. 

 

 

 

 

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AFFECTATIONS

 

 

An interesting premise albeit somewhat macabre regarding the following…

 

By design she fostered the Domino effect by choosing it as her stage name. Then, by taking her life from this existence on October 31st, she was followed the day after by my ward. Attrition took part in the domino effect by the sending off a friend’s mother and the world famous, Stan Lee. 

 

There it was only Monday.

 

What followed those preceding actuations was a discussion, the outcome of which brought to bear the notion that holding onto the belief of one’s “Individuality” induces simultaneous connections and disconnections facilitating ‘crazy-making’ birthing ‘insanities’. 

 

 

 

 

Erroneously

 

OPPORTUNITY   KNOCKS/SOUGHT

 

 

Once upon a time on a tropical isle lived Little Donnie. He was neither precocious nor timid was he timid, although many thought he was either depending on their personal experiences. What they all did not know was that he lived in the world of imagination where everyone ventured from time to time. 

 

On one occasion, when no one was around he indulged in a favoured pastime. He would make up games to play when by his lonesome, and this was just such an occasion. His mother was upstairs working on her seamstress pastime, his little sister by her side and he alone outside. Where they were living was a two-story dwelling, as his memory serves, and to enter one had to climb five-steps to the landing where the doorway stood. Looking up at these steps he decided on a game to occupy his energies.

 

This game involved escalation in difficulty. He would climb one-step, then jump down and climb two-steps, and jump down. He than climbed three-steps and jumped down before climbing four-steps, only to jump down four-steps. On his climbing up five-steps he slipped plunging face first onto the concrete steps and slamming his chin, splitting it open. Fortunately, he tightened his jaw and didn’t smash any teeth on this occasion. On splitting his chin open blood came forth as the pain began to register amidst his amazement.

 

Pinching the skin of his split chin, and crying, he went up the stairs to the second floor where his mother was at her sewing machine. He approached to show her, clinging to his chin explaining what had occurred amidst his sobbing. His mother calmly removed his hand to get a clearer look and returned his fingers to their position telling him to keep pressure on the wound, while she made preparations to attend to it.

 

First, she cleaned the wound telling him to wait while she threaded a needle. This needle she placed over an open candle flame, then wiped it clean of soot with cotton and rubbing-alcohol. The tool now sterilized, his mother told him to let go of the wound and proceeded to do her repairs. 

 

Holding his chin between her fingers she began sewing his chin with her needle and thread, Little Donnie continuing to sob throughout the proceedings. Nearing the end of her sewing, Little Donnie ceased crying immersed in the sensation of how the sewing of his chin felt. Before he knew it, his mother had finished with her sewing, cleaned around the wound and applied a Band-Aid. Looking over her handiwork, Little Donnie’s mother affirmed his wound now mended and bud him return to his alone time play while she return to work.

 

Hugs exchanged, his mother returned to her sewing and Little Donnie return to the outdoors and returned to the game. This time, he made certain to ascend the five-steps in sequence as before, but without the previous undue incident. This he repeated ascertaining his confidence so as not to give in to uncertainty that would damage his assuredness in his developing skillset. Little did Little Donnie realize how this was to play-out in the years ahead for his little family unit of three.

 

Another story in his continuing saga …

 

 

 

 

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