Before going off on another tangent, I’d like to close this cycle which appears a circle. When this, “Police Services Interaction”, peculiar exposition began I spoke of having origins within my patriarchal environ. Looking back on the path I had navigated, the specifics could not have been foreseen much less planned for or against. There was an unfolding that originated then materialized from the ether that was Life’s.


It was a matter of being born in the Tropics with behaviours particular to its time, emigrating to another continent with its indigenous behaviours and unaware of my tool-kit’s contents for survival, which I was to use and eventually discover the qualities therein.


The journey traversed a circuitous path from that origin to place me where I am, aligned to Police Services.


I left where my father’s vocation was with the Jamaican Constabulary, until his untimely passage into the hereafter, only to have numerous close encounters of which I was fortunate to navigate safely without stereotypical incarceration. I was aware of certain news items that were operating while en route, and unaware of what could have had very unfortunate outcomes had variations to conditions been different. 


My living conditions, during the ‘Spot Check’ scenario, was facilitating the closing of the cycle. I had overworked myself to the point of collapse and, during my early phase of recovery, began volunteering in unknown arenas that were presented. One could say it was meant to be, but that would sound fatalistic.


One of the contributing factors to my collapse began much earlier in the late 90s, and afforded me information to look out onto the goings on in a neighbourhood I had resided for 10yrs but was unfamiliar. Venturing out into the neighbourhood one thing led to another and I became a neighbourhood representative for my building in Its association. Earlier in my alignment with this association I was asked if I would accept a position that became open. This position was liaison to the police services division of which my neighbourhood constituted a part.


Accepting this position sparked the coming full circle, in my perception, in spite of my much earlier decision not to become an official member of this city’s constabulary upon arrival. When I arrived my country of origin carried no firearm and I wished not to carry one. Here I am 55yrs later, aligned without having to carry a gun, with the Police Services of Toronto coming full circle in an interesting cycle. 


No one was aware to pay attention to this circumstantial occurrence, least of all me; and, none were the wiser on seeing this coming.




CPLC Volunteer Award copy




It is said, you have your memories and I have mine, which is accorded each of us by way of our personal experiences. 


Contrary to popular opinion, beliefs and experiences of others, I never really knew my father. There was a man I called ‘dad’ according to custom with barely remembered experiences, throughout my growing years. There is an early photo of being held as a child in his arms at some sort of celebration, the only evidence of  me being in that setting. Thereafter, contacts and interactions were random and sporadic throughout childhood into puberty, no daily engagements.


There were a few memorable interactions prior to adulthood: a Yuletide notice of no presents due to failing school grades; being a happy passenger on the back of his police motorcycle; and, the gift of a pup during the year my younger sibling and I resided at his family’s home before emigrating to another continent. During my early adulthood personal engagements were once every few years when I was able to afford to travel. Surprisingly, he attended my wedding, which was short-lived and ended in divorce. 


Growing through middle adulthood, he had occasion to warn me I was being exploited, bleak information for which I was grateful but unable to fully actuate without further input and support mechanism. The only substantive relevance of the information was validating a current tenuous situation I was experiencing with a certain party warranting caution. 


I carried that information without directional benefit, but was fortunately in the process of developing an independent support mechanisms through education. We all have our trials and tribulations, and his life was no different. We lived our lives with only cursory knowledge of one another’s goings on, communicating at long-distance from time to time. It was during one of those dialogues he divulged his regret for not being the father he should have been. 


I accepted those spoken words, forgiving the past as one unable to regret what was an unknown life experience I had never lived. He was my father, and being his son has had benefits I do not deny however they materialized. This saying comes to mind, “It’s not what you know but who you know; not who you know, but who knows you; and, not only who knows you, but also who’s watching you.” I often sense I’m at the whim of Chance in a chaotic world.


I appreciate, sharing vicariously in others’ fatherly experiences via friendships, scripted dramas from movies and television shows observed throughout my life. Many families’ lives gifted me opportunities of what a home life was as witnessed my early years; before and after emigrating to this northern landscape. I learned through many observations and social engagements albeit unable to fully grasp the daily family dynamics, be it a two and/or single-parent process.


Still, I share with so many an unease within when I hear, “Happy Father’s Day”, levied with taken-for-granted abandon. However, I am void of anger ~ remorse ~ sadness; just an unoccupied space, neither good nor bad, a beneficial void unable to appreciate the expressed celebratory sentiments others share and hold dear. 


It is as it is … HAPPY  FATHER’s  DAY, one and all! Enjoy what you have within your purview to comprehend!





Anthropological    Content 



At a certain moment in Time, during my physical comprehension on the biometric level, I was informed ‘Free Will’ was an illusory construct to pacify the masses. Many were seeking their place in Life, and try as I might, I was steered onto the self-determining route from which there was only a forward path I knew not from whence I came. 


How do I clarify the aforementioned statement? 


Well, Nothing would give me greater pleasure, except specifics are peculiar to timely discourse and an open mind towards accepting outside-the-box concepts is a pre-requisite. Starting points are synchronistically philosophical and scientific! Question is, how open-minded to this comprehensive notion are you, and where do we begin? 


Are you a religious and/or spiritual person, and to what do you ascribe? Are you fluid, conventional and/or rigid in mindset? All are factors in the comfort level of you going forward. Take a few moment to consider your place in this Time/Space Continuum before deciding if/when/how you’re to proceed, and if we are going together on this journey.


I’ll be back to get your decision, as I continue my journal entries …





50. HALO





This was an interesting phase of my combat years; and, unknown to me was the scenario I was to learn about, enduring its fallout. I was making my way across Canada as a premier fighter, unaware of my calibre due to my initial focus to becoming a Tae Kwon-Do stylist which is a tale for the telling in itself. 


My training, also included being a university student and part-time employee, and at this juncture my instructor told me of an invitation to an especial fight in Alberta: two competitions over the space of one-weekend, light-contact point and full-contact fighting. I agreed to compete at his behest and under odd specifics. I was not paying strict attention to the way I was being informed. 


Suffice to say the result was agreeing to fly to the competition on a one-way ticket and win the competition, in order to pay-my-way back to Toronto. Arguably, my doubts about winning were presented, but he was confident in my skillset at this juncture. The specifics were it being a combined tournament, contact and non-contact with a cash-purse, if successful. Therein was the motivation for my return airfare, by his assertion. I resumed training in order to improve my chances in winning.


Time came and we flew to Edmonton, arrived for a first weekend experience of my lifetime. Quietly, I entered the arena and went onto the bleachers-section to gain an overview. While seated there, I was joined by an entourage led by a rather large fellow. By the looks of him he stood 6’ 6” and weighing a well-trained and fit 250lbs, conservatively speaking. He sat nearby and we struck up a conversation, whereby I learned he was an American, ex-military from an airborne division. 


Within minutes he and his crew stood and stated he was leaving. Surprised, I inquired as to his departure. His response has stayed with me to this day, as I psychologically prepared to meet this fellow during the Grand Championship segment of the competition, should I succeed in winning my division. He said, “There’s no competition here.” I was amazed at his candidness and, internally sighing in relief as I shook his hand, bid him adieu and a safe journey.


As it turned out, I was successful in both combat scenarios. I was the overall champion in the non-contact divisions, and full-contact champion in my weight class. However, the promoters came up with a crowd pleasing idea, agreed to by respective instructors. They wanted a Grand Championship match between both full-contact weight classes, heavyweight and lightweight. I was having none of it and headed to the changing rooms!


Of course, there was an announcement calling me to meet with my instructor. We met and, after a disagreeable exchange, it was agreed both full-contact winning fighters would engage in a semi-contact demonstration, winner take-all match. 


We approached the podium, entered the ring and began our 2/3 rounds to the delight of the audience. Our exchanges were on par until a spark was ignited where we both threw reverse-punches to the head and the lights overhead went out. Actually, we had knocked each other out, standing motionless in our trained-fighting positions, centre-ring. We regained consciousness, and regained sight of each other still in defensive positions, the noise increasing around us. According to the announcer, we were both issued a warning for excessive force!? 


The rounds ended, to our delight and that of the audience, not to mention the promoters and high-ranking instructors present, and me. I had won my airfare back to Toronto! 


What took place that weekend was more than I realized; but, several months later an announcement was made there was to occur the First World ITF Tae Kwon-Do Championship in Montreal. We flew back to Toronto; I resumed my university studies, martial arts training and part-time employment awaiting the adventures to come.    






1. Combatants c.'73

%d bloggers like this: