Late one afternoon, while walking down Yonge St. below College St., the Carlton St. side, I happened upon what appeared a transaction involving a gift-card sale. The prospective buyer was in the process of taking a snap-shot of the card’s face ’n chip while the seller was keeping his pitch ongoing. Upon hearing this, a familiar episode of mine from the Christmas season of 2015 vividly came to mind.


I remember walking down the same side of Yonge St. feeling the Christmas Spirit,
just above Dundas E, a fellow in a parked upscale SUV asked for directions to the airport, which was how my escapade began ending with me a sizeable sum lighter but with fashion attire I wasn’t one to ordinarily purchase.


Prior to this was a notable experience in the 80s with one I mistakenly took for a friend, having spent time with others in friendly engagements, such as partying poolside at his home in the burbs. Similarly, as in my Yonge St. stroll, I was in a harmonic glow, which he recognized and took advantage of, weighing in my sense of friendship. He used it quite well in ‘borrowing’ a sizeable sum he delayed in repaying, until surmised it best I to walk away from as another lesson.


Happening upon me on leisurely walkabout often finds me vulnerable. Exposures I am want to guard against, considering these two references are but the tip of the iceberg when it comes to such encounters. Escapades, including panhandling/street-homeless folks, round out seduction scenarios around this fair city of ours. In times of need, survival instincts surface to create prey and victim of family, friends and strangers alike.







 (A Spiritual Path)


Ask yourself, if you know the purpose of mourning the passages of others in Life, given the grand scheme of things?


Do we mourn to appease ourselves solely on the emotional level, guilt aside? Allow me to offer this option which may, or may not gain your consideration. I propose that we mourn being left behind, intuiting actually where the dearly departed has gone, leaving us to continue the struggles that accompany being alive.


The departed, regardless of their route during this mortal coil, has completed whatever was her/his purpose unbeknownst to them and their relations near and afar. Whatever/however their cause/vehicle of transport out, we mourn losing them on our journey here feeling various levels of depravation. We do intuitively know to where their departure leads.


We are not alone. Most simply ‘trust’, what some call ‘having faith’ but many unknowingly.


3d. A Little Deeper

Cream Soda



BCE Place Financials

“As you work on your savings, don’t forget to save room for your life.”
I wonder, how many of us accept this saying reflexively on face value, without thinking, fully comprehending its import allowing it to subsume unconsciously? I can with all assurance say I am just now in a position to comprehend the actual implications of such a quote having survived making ill-advised choices. Had I someone who cared enough to advise me otherwise; but, such were not the cards I was dealt and I made do.


Note the next quote:
“When was the last time your health had a performance review?” It appears self-explanatory, but I an reluctant to project a suggestive input thereby loading it with my own experiential content not knowing what ‘health’ is being suggested/referenced.


Are ‘quotes’ thrown into the public realm imposing subtle suppositions upon the human psyche whose apparent commonality forces the recipient to “fill in the blanks” however their needs require feeding? ‘Landmines’ or ‘guidelines’, many requiring a ‘dogma’ to force relevance life-stylings?


Where/how do we go forward?



36b. Distorted View

One of those days




There are those among us who do not answer the questions asked. They serve up statements in lieu of as answers that are palpable, acceptable to those making inquiry and listening to feel comforted accepting these statement answers, and being none the wiser of what is missing; the actual answer to the questions. This is evident to me but not to those on the receiving end of these statement answers.


Additional questions abound: were the questions so couched in subtleties that those statements are accurate responses? Were the questions ambiguous, open to interpretations allowing for such responses? Were the questions’ content lacking in sufficient information allowing the responder interpretative leeway; and/or, were the questioners vague and careless or simply naive, trusting the responders integrity?


Not so obvious matters to consider, but assessed in an instant giving way to future-presents actualities unintended. Something for you to ponder…



20. Not Very Fasnionable

Lately, I have been wondering about Words in the English language which sound pleasing and/or displeasing to both the speaker and/or the listener. This has occurred to me in my senior years having chosen to put pen-to-paper and wondering how others would read and internally ‘hear’ my words and affix meaning to them for themselves.


The Words that became most apparent to me are the ‘death’ and ‘dying’, both derivative of a state of being and unbecoming, so to speak.


Upon waking one morning to face the usual unknowns of the day inspire of the odd appointments, voluntary and involuntary, the inevitable came to mind and I was want to write about it from my perspective. Granted, there have been many Words written on the subject from Elizabeth Kubler Ross to The Tibetan Book of The Dead and many in between, some of which I have read from the early 1980s into 2000 following Y2K, another experience where these two-words played their significant parts.


Well, lying there I noted the different sensations derived from those Words upon using them in my contemplations. It was many years later that if occurred to me the weight and worth of them in conversation regarding their uses in the media. It is possible, and apparent, that many professions use Words to manipulate and coerce, especially the unaware. The masses, targets of their intents; and, likewise the individuals among the masses to manipulate their fellows, betters and those considered lesser.


It is evident that how Words are used affect societies. All one has to do is think upon Economics, Politics and Religions throughout Human History, and all is made abundantly clear albeit overwhelming in recognition. It is what is made clear in the macro aspect of existence that reached to me the overwhelming aspects of its microcosm in deconstructing the what and how of the language to which I have grown accustomed.


Two Words impacting on the sensibilities of both speaker and listener, whether or not conscious, still affected to her/his core only left to respond/act according to their inherent history and conditionings. I mused on these Words, amazed at how much softer ‘dying’ felt than ‘death’. Was it in the finality implicated by the latter and the intrinsic hope in the former? I will leave that judgment to you and your sensibilities accorded your particular inherent history and conditionings.


I have stated the wherefores and how from my perspective. I have but two other questions remaining. Is it so also in other languages spoken on Earth by humans and, being aware of digital phonics to which we are becoming accustomed, will our future-presents usher in other sensibilities with which to contend through the ever evolving technologies?



Hope I m not too late, Ba-Ha have a scrumptious bi



Human  Expressions  Reviewed


While people-watching, without the ‘stalking’ nomenclature, I saw a lovely young lady walking in the mall a week ago, and what came to mind was how she appears to be one of the many who wish not to be here.


I don’t know if you know those vague expressions, with micro indications, that we all project onto unsuspecting others and receiving appropriate responses upon exchanges without being the wiser? We communicate through these unknowns, most often with difficulties and with some luck survive due to traditional context generationally accepted and understood. I trust I haven’t confused you!??


We’ve survived this long as a specie and may not bring about our own extinction, so long as we awaken to these unknowns over time as we evolve in full status as Human Beings. Given current status, goings on, our survival appears touch ’n go in spite of historical data theorized.


Back to my observing, ‘people-watching’. In addition to the hurry, scurrying that escalates as Time goes bye, it behoves me not to comprehend varying projections not intended for my consumption. I see the joys as well as the sadness that many carry about within themselves. I often stay away from possible encounters that may take a turn for the worse as a default of engagement and exchange. But, this time I was caught off-guard when I saw such a lovely young miss walking with such a countenance.


I contemplated the possibility that I was observing my own projections onto each person according to their demeanour; but, I’m not that adept, much less inclined to working that hard simply looking at passers-bye. So, I recapitulate and wonder at what may have contributed, is contributing, to her expression that others in her vicinity are most likely unaware. I wonder if she has a confidant so as not to be overtaken, overwhelmed to become victimized by what I was seeing.


She was long gone from my purview, as I finished my meal. I continued observing others going bye with varying expressions for me to catch-and-release. Hers, as stated, stayed with me having ambushed my sensibilities as she might have been had she known. I trust she is doing well, in a fairer state of mind as her body politic appears gifted by Nature, according to my appreciation of her appearance.


Life goes on, nonetheless.







My extensive bachelorhood allows me to ponder the ridiculous and the sublime that passes as through my waking moments in the wee hours. One such thought is the inevitability of death and dying. The dying commences at birth, climaxing in that final breath, however/whenever that may be.

What amazes me is the fact that many of us do our level best to avoid, deny death’s very existence via a multitude of distractions, even in grieving. I’m not saying death is to be doted on, far from it; but, I find it most interesting that at the slightest indication of death’s presence, literally all hell breaks loose in designed imaginings beyond descriptions resulting in the losing of our collective minds.

The numerous industries dedicated to staving off this inevitability, the basics occurring in medicine and religions. Oddly, these two areas account for many deaths they were created to mediate, all the while decaying daily, distracting ourselves by any means necessary.

I am plagued by the noticing of these things via the musings proliferating my consciousness, in the wee hours when many are sound asleep, and the cacophony of normalcy is simply a hum.

Decay is noticeable through injury and old age, as some would call them. Out of sight and out of mind is the preference, while to look on any reflecting surface is to be reminded of what had been misplaced/misused from birth throughout the ensuing years, depending on the era of one’s birth. Our excitement inevitably grows into quiet/knowing where emerges the fear of losing the day, and the dying becomes apparently all too real.

It is then that Death shows Its mantle, some call ‘shroud’, where in the comic realm it’s considered a hero’s cape, a sign of courage, heroism and power. This transitioning I am learning to embrace, while apprehensive of its import; then again, I am still a work in progress, all things considered.

50. HALO



For what is it, good/bad/?

Such a multi-faceted and wonderful state-of-being, which may be a deficit or benefit depending on your ongoing Life experiences. The Ultimate knows I have been privy to Its many derivatives both intimate and vicarious. Today’s the second time in two days that I’ve had the privilege to witness a display of Its misgivings, a previous as recent an occurrence as yesterday.

Yesterday’s issue occurred while I was reading the newspaper at a local 2nd Cup Cafe in my neighbourhood. In it was a man whom I recognized from a time long past. Needless to say, he is much older now and looking more worse for the wear. I know not his life’s path, as none of us truly know when happening upon a recognized person to whom you were never introduced. Still, if he’s the same person whom I recall by his features, his life must have taken him in certain domains where this behaviour gave him warrant.

While reading there was a god-awful sounding cough originating from his vicinity to which those present gave concerned visual attention. Within speaking tone was a couple close by who verbally expressed concern; well, the male of the two did. This expression of concern was met with a most unsettling remark which went something like, “Mind your own fucking business! You don’t know me, so leave me the fuck alone!” The young lad replied, “I was concerned hearing your cough and wanted to know if you were alright.” About this the older fellow replied, “Fuck off, I don’t need your concern – you don’t know me, so leave me the fuck alone! Just fuck off, you hear me? Leave me the fuck alone!”

With this retort a deafening silence issued throughout the cafe. Needless to say, his ensuing successive coughs received his, “Mind you own business and leave me the fuck alone!” request. True enough, none of us knew him, and his disclosed mindset received none of the empathetic sympathy directed his way, at least not overtly.
The other behaviour of what is considered one of the 7 Deadly Sins occurred just before noon today, Tuesday, October 27th 2015. I was breaking my fast with the intentions of reading whatever newspaper was on hand and/or writing, whichever’s more feasible. I sat down to a breakfast sandwich and a favoured beverage in another neighbourhood cafe, Starbuck’s. Upon sitting down I noticed an elderly woman appearing to do similar and sitting down at a table by the window. No big deal, we were unfamiliar with one another, as many were in this domain. Fortunately, two people entered with whom I was indeed familiar, neighbours over the past decades. One lives in the same building while the other lives in a corner building two blocks west. Both men chose their own private corner of the cafe, and I respected such choice although I had considered inviting each to join me.
Their body language implied other designs and I let the offer fade. One of the fellows, of Ethiopian culture, chose to sit at a larger table where the elderly woman mentioned earlier was seated alone. Giving him a stern regard after his regard of her, she arose and left in disdain muttering to herself. Her body language expressed a stiffening posture at his perceived intrusion, departing the cafe entirely and disregarding other options for seating. I wondered at her behaviour taking into account her attitude/behaviour/conduct relating to current news items of ‘refugees’ and their seeming invasion upon European soils and eventually North American shores.

Was this a pride-of-space scenario, a space considered private even regardless of it being public domain? Eventually, I departed the cafe observing him comfortably reading, possibly oblivious of the apparent disdainful departure which could have been otherwise through a courteous conversation. The wise among us believe we’re all here together, coming and going unwillingly by happenstance; all the while, many among us allow for disdainful emotional sensations to dictate the ‘How’ of our experience during our Life passage. Quite the choice.

Well, I continue to learn as I go/grow, observe during my passage. So be it…

Life in Dreams


We all take turns as observers in this Life of Dreams, as a line in a Shakespearean play states, “All the world’s a stage, and the people merely players, making their entrances and exits accordingly”, or something resembling that. But, have you ever taken the time to deconstruct those visuals as they intimately relate? Even in the face of the onslaught of media-hype, some accepted as news devolving of late?

Granted, many have opted to make their dreams life dramas, even melodramatic; ofttimes, melancholic only to end. Maybe, these endings are not as melodramatic as their survivors have dreamed them to be? Come to think of it, were these endings already an integral part of the original scenario, if not just an alternative?

This brings me to those unfortunates, generally agreed to be ‘unfortunate’ because we deem them to be so by comparison. I make this presumption from a retrospective thought. You see, like many, I was never born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Come to think of it, there might not even have been a spoon, if not a shared one! Also, like many, I’ve lived an interrupted life. I won’t go into details here, you’ll have to wait for my Bio-Narrative to hit the shelves, and me the promotional trail, for those tasty morsels.

Suffice-to-say, I’ve had several interruptions along the way to my present, almost at seven year intervals; coincidence or synchronicity? To that decision you’re my beneficiaries. On track. These interruptions brought with them options and changes up until recently were outside my purview of manageability. Not to say I made no contributions to their results. Regardless of what others say, want believed, in fact, is believed; I made choices when the journey began. I was not-a-victim. Another belief agreed upon in this timeline. This is also not to say some of these occurrences were not appalling, if not also downright deadly. I’m simply presenting a perspective that’s not entertained due to its responsibility factor. There are no scapegoats, no one culture/organization/person/system on which to lay-sole-blame!

Comparison-making is the major player in the ‘unfortunate’ and ‘victimology’ scenario. The belief has been presented in the form and manner implying that Life would grind to a halt and come apart at the seams, fragmenting and dismantling everything ‘we’ hold dear. Questions: what grinding; come apart how; at what seams, where; what is it we ‘hold’ dear; who are ‘we’; and what life? Many assumptions are accepted without question, or reasoning; and, subsequently, acted upon mainly in the best interest and benefit of a select few while giving the impression the ‘majority’ involved are in the mix. Hence, the unfortunates which is rarely a self-analysis and more an outside diagnosis whereby there’s not true responsibility. There is, however, an other-to-blame. Getting the picture? Time to expand the parameters without giving the other plot away.

Many of my interruptions steered me here, along an otherwise irregular path and I can trace my choices along the way with varying results. But, as I ask/began to say earlier, “What about people deemed ‘unfortunate’ at varying levels?” There are those living in so-called developed nations, then you have the ‘developing’ nations and, the still ‘undeveloped’ nations. Among all these there are gradients of existence, of living conditions, if you will. Even within these so-called developed nations there are acknowledged living conditions reflective of undeveloped nations. How this is possible is everyone’s guess, few with knowledge and/or understanding.

How did this all come about, under whose watch. Is this where Religion came in? To make sense of it all, at whatever the cost and/or until Science relates it rationally!?? Granted, there are many who prefer to keep it simplistic, thereby rendering responsibility to second-person realms. Again, I ask, is this Life or a Dream of Life? Looking around I see everything as dream state, with the possibility of ‘waking’ a pathway using ‘death’ as a Way-to-Life. Yet another dream in this realm we agree to call Life. It’s all relative!



There are Facts-of-Life about which, if ever parents seldom reveal to their children. Maybe, it’s because there’s no comfortable way to inform their little ones about these processes in Life. I mean, how do they figure out the details with which they themselves have lived, and tell their offspring(s) in a time-honoured manner that makes sense when they have not had the time-inclination and/or opportunity to reflected upon?

Consider, especially, when they themselves were never updated and/or made aware of such endeavours in a timely manner, throughout their lives. To elaborate in another way, they are unlikely able to teach what they didn’t clearly learn, and were never allowed/inclined towards introspection in order to pass on the practice to their kith and kin.

Where to begin? Ah, yes, the emergence/cradling phase; still, conception’s plausible but it only confounds more.

We arrive in this sphere of existence with predilections unknown, compounded by multi-levelled social norms to learn without conscious filters until much later, which will be biased by then; and, then, making shit up as we grow only to fall in with supporting mindsets/thinking and being none-the-wiser. Thus, it becomes a miracle that we’re literally not a social construct that’s feeding on itself; or, is this one and we’re none-the-wiser!??

The CONUNDRUM, how do we know what we know while we proceed within this process called LIFE!?? Deconstruct the preceding paragraph and you may realize-to-comprehend about which I’m just mildly concerned. I say ‘mildly’ because to take things TOO SERIOUSLY would be self-defeating. Many foolish and wise alike participate in the practice unconsciously. Of course, there are those who are medicated because they appear to be becoming aware of the ‘conundrum’ and could unknowingly unsettle the evolution of this social construct as it is.

Being inside looking out while looking in is maddening at best. Still, one may not deliberate this folly too long before becoming certifiable. We are taught, at various socioeconomic-political levels to secure a place within this sphere-of-existence, because there is no other. Well, be that as it may, is anyone able to/is anyone to know/tell of any another sphere(s) of existence, if it/they can be discovered, and be clearly revealed in the retelling?

It is all a personal journey and, the best that anyone may receive is from parental units who have been recipients of well established lessons from dedicated consciousnesses: from the emergence into this life cycle throughout childhood – the formative years – the pubescent years – early adulthood; and, hopefully, into self-sufficiency. Everything we have in our arsenal for living in this Life is founded on the imprinted data stream living within about which we know next-to-nothing, while tasked with learning and using them as we grow with and/or without guidance, early-during-and/or-later in our lives.

About this, I have some knowledge and am attempting an elaboration from my comprehension- how am I doing?

“A rolling stone gathers no moss”- I have a few perspectives, haven’t you!?? 02/08/15

In Time...

In Time…

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