TO DREAM

14/08/2017

Does everyone dream, in defined dream situations as one is circling the drain of despair/depression?

 

I find it most interesting, if not curious, how the word ‘dream’ is exercised in people’s minds. You may have dream experiences, be a dreamer, dream of better Life situations, and/or be a daydreamer which now carries a label ADD/ADHD to which I could have been assigned had I been born in the 80s/90s!

 

Moving on, what is your addition to this word ‘dream’, interpretations, if any!?? How do you rationalize your assertions? Not so much to convince another of your beliefs, but adding to the wealth of convictions that abound? You see, I reserve opinion, input, due to the plethora of assertions already in vogue. You know some of them, I gather/presume. Ones such as, “success will always elude you, if you have no dream to lead your path”, and/or other similar adage/quotations.

 

I dream, more than some and not as much as others, but in daily life my process/progress is a collaboration/harmonizing of dreaming/waking states’ particulars/peculiarities which makes for quite the challenge in synchronizing with the world at large.

 

Given current conditions, how are you faring as you move through your daily life in dreams?

 

 

 

52a. In the Way

A – W – P

11/08/2017

A  Weighty  Proposition

 
Gifts often given, offered and accepted from family and friends, have the potential to become weighted the longer we live, as I have learned/discovered/observed.

 

Attachment, the affectations/after-effects, is the slippery slope into the arena of hoarding, the eventuality of clutter for some, if not many/most.

 

Very disturbing, especially if one ends up living alone. The after-effect of gifts, at onetime a benefit gradually becomes a beneficial-deficit to one’s solitude.

 

An overwhelming proposition, to say the least.

 

 

 

1. Saturday 11th Sept. 2010

At  The  Beginning

“Nothing, they say, is more certain than death, and nothing more uncertain than the ‘time’ of dying.” ~ Grimm: S6 / E10

 

Laying in bed, awaiting sleep and allowing thoughts of different illnesses passage through my mind. These are thoughts of ailments seen during days past and/or heard advertised over varying media/news outlets. Although, these thoughts are most troublesome, they are most often accompanied by visual references. This is my usual route into the sleep realm I endure and override as called upon.

 

The inference that no one is getting out of this Life alive is not a comforting one to those who’re enduring this life with only the Promise of a Better Life through dogma, or the dependence on Science to actualize the aforementioned Promise. The realities/actualities accompanying the varying sciences and technologies are apparently garnering quite the following challenging the status quo of the previously comforting dogmas.

 

Is this the cause for the immediate post-natal alarm sounded by each who emerge into this dimension, and subsequent tantrums until the challenge/drama foisted onto us for coming here is accepted as being here without foreknowledge of our tenure? What is your plea, if any?

 

I lay in bed allowing myself to accumulate sufficient energy from the cosmos to rise and face the unimaginable, the longer I am here.

 

 

2a. Getting Oriented c. 64

1964

BODY LOANS

04/08/2017

Are our bodies-on-loan to address unification with a chosen life-partner? Many options are proffered us; whereafter choosing, many spend lives learning the joy of Life, some succeeding while others not.

 

One avenue one I find offering the most problem/challenge, and troublesome to say the least, is sexual/sensual intimacy. At first it appears pretty straightforward, but within the confines of a ‘civilized’ society all manner of ‘issues’ emerge making what appeared natural unnatural, with disease the logical/reasonable outcome.

 

How’s that for a kettle-of-fish?

 

 

8. Gunboat Beach c.'61

Attuning

NIGHT MOVES

01/08/2017

NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP

 

In the dead of night a veil is drawn allowing the ‘spirits’ to roam the emptiness revealing what awaits, interpreted by sensitive receptors, often the dreaded.

 

There is that age old wonderment of the hereafter known as Death. How will it come? Will there be a struggle, or a happenstance where resignation is the call? I am not one to succumb to the struggles and depart-by-choice, and I may not be the type to stay on priding unknown fears to departing.

 

Still, there are disarming reflections from the day’s observations of those in dire straights, whether from birth discomforts, accidents/assaults, or disease and war experiences I’ve been fortunate to survive/evade, thus far. Allusions to ‘what ifs’ swirl and parade from the darkness through my mind, which I am able to review and allow passage hoping to remain free of their untoward influences.

 

Forgetful sleep is sought in lieu of comforting comprehension as I may not yet be ready, being in need of courage and/or in need of Divine Guidance. Tomorrow…

 

 

 

3e. Sleeping Quarters During Balcony Replacement

Forced   Accommodations

 

O M

28/07/2017

Observing More

Watching behaviours, and listening to the words emoting from others. It appears every generation has to come to terms with its own intrinsic and inherited biases holistically. As they have yet to make that holistic transition, maintaining it is moot; so, conflicts remain the norm, on the whole.

 

Curiously, this quote from the title character Miss Sloane, resonates for these and other times, and may be applied in numerous scenarios: “Career suicide is not so bad when you consider the alternative is suicide by career.”

 

It s about time, pal - enjoy this memorable day, C

F = T = F

24/07/2017

FOREST  =  TREES  =  FOREST

 

Most of you may have heard the saying, “Can’t see the forest for the trees”, something somewhat understood without much deliberation. It is this lack of deliberation that keeps a repeating of bad behaviour and misdeeds that make for difficulties in living.

 

What do I mean by this statement? Considering the lack of consideration for the adage ‘form follows function’ that keeps many correcting forms when there is no following of the function.

 

Need examples? That which has sex-appeal but no real value after-the-fact, as in apparel that goes out of fashion; an automobile purchase that puts financial strain on finances for maintenance; a household purchase that appears essential biased on origin of purchase setting which blinds one to comparative personal environment setting; and, worst of all, decision-making that has superficial appeal but no real day-to-day social benefits to one’s overall environment.

 

In the preceding examples, are you able to insert your particulars or assert a deer in headlights stance in avoidance, denying what we have all been guilty, some more so than others? Especially, those of us in decision-making positions that have come back to bite us repeatedly from overt/subversive decisions? Whatever your response(s), fact remains we have all been subject to the backlash (benefit /deficit) of all I have asserted, like it or not.

 

‘Not seeing the forest for the trees’ makes us eventual victims whatever the outcomes if the least of us experience deficiencies that many explain as, ‘taking the good with the bad’. This the frame of reference, which makes accepting less than expected returns, a consumer mantra. Question is, for how long will this be our usual way of living?

 

 

1b. Close-Up on Water-Damage

Quiet Time

17/07/2017

LEARNING to RELAX again

Don’t know/care the reason, simply sitting on a park bench out front of my condo building taking in the evening breeze ’n enjoying the fading, incoming evening light…

 

First time in 20yrs; but more accurately, the first time I’m feeling relaxed and comfortable in doing so in recent years!

 

I trust it is ongoing without the surprises/rude awakenings of my yesteryears.

 

 

5. Evening Descends 2 15.7.17

 

R = B(D+S) / W W E

14/07/2017

[Racism = Bigotry (Discrimination / Segregation)  /  WorldWide Extinction ]

 

Are we of one kind, one specie called ‘human’? Scientific evidence points to this as a ‘fact’; however, longstanding behaviour patterns have demonstrated otherwise. There has been domination through enslavement, invasions and laws all the while claiming these as civilizing processes! But, are these actions humane when accompanied by subjugations of a greater portion of the specie? There is an obvious pattern of three-steps forward and shuffling-paces backwards.

 

There are aspects to condone and allow these actions through misinterpretations of religious doctrines which have believers at each others throats, while servile others observe decrying these behaviours afraid to step up and stop massacres taking place. Do you see any overriding patterns, or are you too busy hiding to notice the formulae noted above?

 

I was fortunate to have escaped from a rollover in a ditch as I was rescued by emergency service providers and passers-by on June 2016. I suspect reflexive actions as our occupancy was undetermined from the position of our vehicle. A far cry from other ’n recent ‘traffic’ encounters the police and black males are involved. It is most likely we were in need and could not be mistaken as threatening.

 

Not that the follow-up was a cake-walk, but things could have gone otherwise! I was in the US and the political climate had not taken the turn it has heading into its meltdown process. An infectious plague altering the national behaviour akin to dementia, schizophrenia and bi-polar disorders biased in its systemic history of bigotry, a definitive mental health issue requiring attention beyond depended pharmaceuticals!

 

 

3e. Sleeping Quarters During Balcony Replacement

A CURRENT AFFAIR

11/07/2017

A Fear Thing? 

Lately, waking up to a feeling of dread, an undefined feeling of fear causing me great consternation. This morning, it became evident my recent long term condo experiences left an indelible mark on my psyche of which I am tasked with correcting. The affair took 14yrs to resolve, 7yrs before a back-fired incident caused actual attention to be given, and I am now suffering PTSD-like effects. I am unable to act on decisions desired to restore my condo unit to its previous comfortable condition.

 

Very similar to what you may have read, or heard, about people caught in long term situations then got themselves trapped in unusual behaviour patterns. Not unlike being bedridden for years and having to relearn how-to-walk, or being discharged from prison after years and being unwilling to accept the feeling of freedom. I am given what appears a new start, but am stalled-in-starting. I am in a state of arrested development when it comes to what was once an easy task, also appearing as much to others upon airing my goings on when asked.

 

 

What I want to do is replayed repeatedly in my thoughts, but I am afraid to act on these thoughts. I acknowledge my feelings and their reasons. I am afraid I will get what was experienced as “surprises” over the past 14yrs, the first 7yrs descending into constant conflicts with board members and managers, followed by reluctant efforts which resulted in trial-and-errors issues after it was accepted there was a real problem and correction that required a special assessment procedures. After waiting my turn, correction occurred over the last 2yrs of the 14yrs, during which time it was hoped I would renovate and go away, as other who had such options had done.

 

Here I stay, amidst recovering from the 14yrs ordeal not knowing when I will assert myself in my desired direction. Making the effort to reclaim not only the level of comfort in my living space, but also my level of comfort within. The rest of the world makes its effort to reclaim its prior levels of comfort taken for granted, as I too am making similar efforts with no guarantee of success.

 

Curious, how my goings on are mirrored similarly, albeit not identical, on the world stage. We are all in the same boat where collaboration is the key to which adequate resolutions abound, but is being ignored for delusional self-absorbed purposes. Their insane but acceptable to greedy intentions never fails to amaze. I shall continue in my efforts awaiting my eventual restoration, trusting the same occurs in due time in the larger sphere. Time will tell if a balance, inside as well as out, will occur.

 

 

1c. Livingroom:Hall:Kitchen NE Corner

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