What’s it/this all about? Are we here/there yet?


Making plans the outcomes of which we’re truly unaware in spite of our best intentions. Well that’s how it’s usually been for me and I’ve learned to fly by the seat of my pants, going with the flow as the sayings go.


I step out my door, with the only intent being kitchen-style bridge with fellow seniors at the local community centre. Two hours later, I’m in the mood for a stroll and being hungry a favoured spot for a ‘kalbi’ taco.


Along the way, I stroll facing traffic, I happened upon a much more senior fellow crossing the street. The changing traffic signal isn’t programmed for the likes of him, an octogenarian with many more years added and those lined up in traffic are not amused. It was incumbent on me to give assistance, so I signalled with my hand and the streetcar and car alongside were decent enough, and allowed us to make our way to the sidewalk before going along their merry way.


We have never met, much less being aware of each other before literally crossing paths. He’s an ancient Asian and I, a senior multi-national Caribbean born.
I have seen the transition from propeller to jet-engine aircraft. I cannot imagine the transitions in technologies he’s experienced! But, that’s is the nature of things that I wish our language disparity and cultures could bridge, allowing us share how our journey has been along our way.


During my earlier years, after emigrating to this country, I have had the pleasure of many exchanges with strangers, quite often fellow immigrants, mostly eastern Europeans. They disclosed, while I learned and broadened my horizons, oddly enough lightening the load I unconsciously carried. I learned people the world over held a history whose content and context, not only held similarities but also beneficial contributions going forward in Life.


No need to compete, but listen and collaborate, and evolve into the human beings we’re meant to become. The way I’ve learn, anyway …




6. Growing Still


T R U S T 

We all have this intrinsic quality, never expecting but having to learn Its loss at some point during our living experience. Here is an example, outside my living experience, which I comprehend and empathize. It incorporates the ‘long game’ played out at the outset of Bo Jackson’s college career path. The tale exemplifies the goings on in the global arena, which plays each us according to our biases and gives rise to the ‘win/lose’ dichotomy that satisfies illusions/delusions of grandeur.


This dichotomy is supported by, if not supports, ‘Pride’ and Its ‘Sinful Siblings’.


The specifics of his tale involved an invitation deliberately misleading , costing him his desired draft-status in the sport he preferred. One institution desired he play in their preferred sport to greatly insure the probability of a championship. They deliberately misinformed him to his chagrin, the result angering him and drastically changing his future. Not unlike what has occurred in many who’re considered lost causes and failed potentials.


It is beyond the comprehension of many to believe that what they were told was only to tailor their decisions to benefit an insincere source. The decisions made were biased on given information predisposing them to be placed in a position to benefit a trusted source feigning their best interest, but in truth were biased on nothing but lies.


Out of the gate, into this Life, opting for Trust is a given one best not expect a safe and stable journey going forward.




Behind the Drywall

Making Do …





Can you recall a TV/movie quote which resonated, not for the masses but specific to you in that particular phase of Life you were experiencing? Below are a few I recently heard and referenced my previous Life, in a 20/20 perspective to reference, process and align accordingly, and learn from going forward. I have detailed, the best of my recollection, by whom and from where, to offer them for your acceptance, should you feel so inclined:

“Ambition is the last refuge of failure”- Oscar Wilde (Grissom / CSI)


“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal” – Irish Headstone (Ducky / NCIS-S15/E2)


“Forgiveness starts with forgiving yourself”- Deacon (SWAT- S1/E8)


“God didn’t save your ass from drowning so S/he could kick you around on the beach”- Marjorie (Mom- S4/E2)


“It’s not the violence that sets men apart, it’s the distance they’re prepared to go. We control the fear, for without the fear we’re already dead”- Lawless (Tom Hardy)


“If you can’t fix what’s broken, you’ll go insane”- Mad Max (Tom Hardy)


“You see, but you do not observe”- Sherlock (S4/E1 – Benedict Cumberbach)


“In Saving my life, she conferred a value on it. It’s a currency I do not know how to spend”- Sherlock (S4/E2 – Benedict Cumberbach)


Sherlock, “It’s okay”.
Watson, “No, it’s not okay”.
Sherlock, “Yes, I know; but, it is what it is”.- (S4/E2)


Santino, “Tradition is the enemy of Progress”.
Winston, “And, here I was thinking it was the other way around”.
John Wick: Chapter 2 (Special Features- Deleted Scenes)


Now, if you allow yourself to be so bold as to assign any or all of these to specific areas of experience in your life, feel free to do so and go forward the better for it.



9c. Balcony Panorama '10




There was a time, while I was making the acquaintance and becoming short-term friends with a man seated just outside Future Bakery in The Annex circa 1992, a rather cryptic statement was made by the fellow named Mike. He and I were in conversation, and during our discourse he responded to a statement I made on what appeared his many options in acquiring a suitable mate. He statement was, as memory serves, “I just don’t have the juice.”


Upon hearing this, I was brought up short for an adequate response to those words. I attempted to get a clarification on the content and context of his statement, but he remained silent leaving his reply to Time ’n my impending experiences.


To what was his response pertaining? What was awaiting, that I was to face with prospects of either ‘avoiding fatalism’ or simply ‘managing expectations’? What was to come in my life experiences?


Repeatedly, over the ensuing years, that exchange kept resurfacing which was to culminate in feelings of emotional exhaustion 25yrs. Conditions from which I am now recovering in this future-present. Although, our specifics differ, it is now my turn to exclaim those same words at the behest of others encouraging me as I did him.


Curiously, at the time of our exchange, he appeared no more than 5yrs my senior, if that.


Our way forward was accorded to our especial transitional life conditions, which was of much concern to be fortuitously actualized according to the content of our pre-existing lives. Our heritage, cultural biases and social standings place us as Fated. So, we went our separate ways to become what we became, go/grow as Life affords, accordingly…


Looking back, I marvel at what/how Life was/is unfolding. What’s in your reservoir?



In The 'Hot Seat'!!?




Have you ever stepped out your door and encountered occurrences along your walking that appeared circumstantial, yet could have far reaching effects that are outside your usual sphere of reference? Each indication tickles you ever so lightly beneath the surface of your consciousness warranting notice, and lingers just long enough to have a wide range of wonderment.


I have those kind of days, but this particular day provided a trail of breadcrumbs that had me list them on my way to a luncheon rendezvous.


The first was while crossing a side-street. There before me was ‘evidence of slow-moving squirrel’, roadkill is the common term. I always have an unsettling feeling when I happen upon such remains, especially when seeing them previously making such timely escapes.


Further on, as I came around a corner, I saw a ‘small-pooch wanting back into the arms of its female owner’. Mixed-feelings passed through me as I considered the pet was out for its relief and exercise, yet it sensed its disposition could acquire a comfort while providing one and such occurred. Curiously, the interplay was of a seamless nature as I noted it making my getaway.


Next, upon taking a short-cut through a neighbouring park, I happened upon an ‘owner being pulled in two directs by the two-bitches he had on leashes’. I noted he didn’t seem to be too disturbed while appearing irritated at the interchange occurring between the two dogs. A slight tug, to reign them in a specific direction and he soon had them headed within a comfortable boundary.


Upon leaving the park, I made my way to a major intersection and headed north. I passed a pedestrian heading south towards me, and as we were passing he gave an exclamation which I noticed was ‘directed toward the screen on his mobile device’. A customary occurrence in this digital age, yet an experience to which I am to become accustomed.

All the listed happenstances I noted prior to my luncheon meeting, all of which may mean nothing in the Grand Scheme of Things, yet I can’t help but wonder at possible relevance on some other level of existence. Somewhere out there, beyond my finite comprehension there may be something analogous or metaphorical of which I am none the wiser.


This line from a recent film, ’Looking for clues, but missing all the signs’ (Wind River) resonates, nonetheless.




7. 'Returning Home' Nine Twenty-Four AM




At the most inopportune times, I catch myself every now and then contemplating aging out. By this, I mean passing through a pleasing experience, not wanting it to end and wanting more.


Then, I think to myself, this will all be gone never to be sensed in this manner, ever again!


It becomes ever more apparent the importance of savouring this now moment; not the following passive homage to quips/quotes of other people, but the actual immersion into each imminent moment.


I do admit, it might be the temporality of it all that makes for these momentary specialness in moving on…




4a. George Gallegos- Carey Grant 21.10.17

George Gallegos- Carey Grant


Invasive Thoughts




While laying in bed some mornings, having assessed weak areas in this physical form, I wonder at the off-chance an odd Twist-of-Fate may leave me motionless and unable to call for help.


Then, laying here having timely bodily functions occurring, their odours and feel surrounding me in my sealed living space, until investigations from neighbours’ complaints facilitate me being found.


Question is, will it be days-weeks, or longer; and, will I be alive to endure the aftermath processes?


A tip of the iceberg conundrum living alone while growing older amidst privacy and individualism social dogma.


Whatever ensues, I’m making the best of Time being borrowed.




1b. Sunrise 2 - 27.6.16*






After much consternation, and results of many insights shared, some kept within, it is my belief there are those who have realized that we share many common experiences. In these common experiences, there are those choose to help others and those who choose to take advantage wherever possible.


I have accepted the notion that those who choose to ‘take advantage’ of others are Life’s indigenous teachers, some of us surviving/overcoming their lessons while others not.


My concerns are of those who choose-to-help conditionally by which many, like myself, become a member of the walking wounded. It matters not whether their ‘conditions’ are biased for benefit of self/family/friends/socio-economic/political positioning. What does matter are the results of these chosen conditions, because the walking-wounded ‘pay forward their wounding’ reflexively becoming aware if attending to feedback by their behaviour.


Most will, by remaining unaware of the types-of-poison they’re passing on within society, increase harmful conditions instead of the benefits learning/overcoming the choices of those ‘teachers in Life’. Conditions claimed to be ingredients of the belief system deemed, ‘survival of the fittest’ in the apparent self-perpetuating Free Market System!


My question is, how many of us are aware which type of person we are, and are willing to address actions outcomes once realized? The problem is, in our current ‘survival of the fittest’ system, how to survive the onslaught of the pervasiveness of ongoing wounding while distracted by increasingly sophisticated media-hype?


Do you know?



14b. The Aftermath


My Eyes Wide Shut


A  C  C  U  M  U  L  A  T  I  O  N  S


There are times when I take the time to look roundabout me only to notice that all my belongings grew into possessions, to the level of clutter accumulated over decades and I ask my self, “How did this ‘happen right before my very eyes’?


Was I so caught up in acquiescence to requests by others not to notice acceptance was tantamount to blind trust gone awry?


How did this ‘occur’ when there was no ‘intent’ or desire/design on my part to acquire any ‘stuff’, having lived a transient, gypsy-like life!? W T F happened!!?!!


Well, coming to an abrupt turn in the road I have been given the opportunity to take stock and discovered a 30yr collection, which has stories contained within each mound. A herculean task awaits and I must face what has gone unnoticed over decades.


Wish me luck, please.









Our ORBITAL representatives have gone into Space returning with an amazing amounts of information. Still our world population is none the wiser and fails to realize we’re all a part of the same ecosystem requiring caring and comprehensive collaboration/co-operation for progressive survival.


Those obstructionists who are unable to appreciate this Planet carrying on with Its holistic evolution ought to ‘get the hell off’ and allow those remaining to engage in these processes towards the Spiritual greatness awaiting!


Just my $0.02 worth.



1. Doreen Burke Palmer- I AM JAMAICA*

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