R = B(D+S) / W W E

14/07/2017

[Racism = Bigotry (Discrimination / Segregation)  /  WorldWide Extinction ]

 

Are we of one kind, one specie called ‘human’? Scientific evidence points to this as a ‘fact’; however, longstanding behaviour patterns have demonstrated otherwise. There has been domination through enslavement, invasions and laws all the while claiming these as civilizing processes! But, are these actions humane when accompanied by subjugations of a greater portion of the specie? There is an obvious pattern of three-steps forward and shuffling-paces backwards.

 

There are aspects to condone and allow these actions through misinterpretations of religious doctrines which have believers at each others throats, while servile others observe decrying these behaviours afraid to step up and stop massacres taking place. Do you see any overriding patterns, or are you too busy hiding to notice the formulae noted above?

 

I was fortunate to have escaped from a rollover in a ditch as I was rescued by emergency service providers and passers-by on June 2016. I suspect reflexive actions as our occupancy was undetermined from the position of our vehicle. A far cry from other ’n recent ‘traffic’ encounters the police and black males are involved. It is most likely we were in need and could not be mistaken as threatening.

 

Not that the follow-up was a cake-walk, but things could have gone otherwise! I was in the US and the political climate had not taken the turn it has heading into its meltdown process. An infectious plague altering the national behaviour akin to dementia, schizophrenia and bi-polar disorders biased in its systemic history of bigotry, a definitive mental health issue requiring attention beyond depended pharmaceuticals!

 

 

3e. Sleeping Quarters During Balcony Replacement

A CURRENT AFFAIR

11/07/2017

A Fear Thing? 

Lately, waking up to a feeling of dread, an undefined feeling of fear causing me great consternation. This morning, it became evident my recent long term condo experiences left an indelible mark on my psyche of which I am tasked with correcting. The affair took 14yrs to resolve, 7yrs before a back-fired incident caused actual attention to be given, and I am now suffering PTSD-like effects. I am unable to act on decisions desired to restore my condo unit to its previous comfortable condition.

 

Very similar to what you may have read, or heard, about people caught in long term situations then got themselves trapped in unusual behaviour patterns. Not unlike being bedridden for years and having to relearn how-to-walk, or being discharged from prison after years and being unwilling to accept the feeling of freedom. I am given what appears a new start, but am stalled-in-starting. I am in a state of arrested development when it comes to what was once an easy task, also appearing as much to others upon airing my goings on when asked.

 

 

What I want to do is replayed repeatedly in my thoughts, but I am afraid to act on these thoughts. I acknowledge my feelings and their reasons. I am afraid I will get what was experienced as “surprises” over the past 14yrs, the first 7yrs descending into constant conflicts with board members and managers, followed by reluctant efforts which resulted in trial-and-errors issues after it was accepted there was a real problem and correction that required a special assessment procedures. After waiting my turn, correction occurred over the last 2yrs of the 14yrs, during which time it was hoped I would renovate and go away, as other who had such options had done.

 

Here I stay, amidst recovering from the 14yrs ordeal not knowing when I will assert myself in my desired direction. Making the effort to reclaim not only the level of comfort in my living space, but also my level of comfort within. The rest of the world makes its effort to reclaim its prior levels of comfort taken for granted, as I too am making similar efforts with no guarantee of success.

 

Curious, how my goings on are mirrored similarly, albeit not identical, on the world stage. We are all in the same boat where collaboration is the key to which adequate resolutions abound, but is being ignored for delusional self-absorbed purposes. Their insane but acceptable to greedy intentions never fails to amaze. I shall continue in my efforts awaiting my eventual restoration, trusting the same occurs in due time in the larger sphere. Time will tell if a balance, inside as well as out, will occur.

 

 

1c. Livingroom:Hall:Kitchen NE Corner

A LEFT – TURN

01/07/2017

Strolling through Yorkdale Mall some 20+yrs ago, before the upgrades now in fashion erasing the memories of what had been, I needed to avail myself of the facilities nearby. Finding one with an easily accessible entranceway near a Food Court atop a set-of-escalators, near the northwest section of the mall, if memory serves correct became my focus.

 

I ascended on the escalator, saw the designated facility and proceeded towards it. I turned left upon entranceway, entering. I was immediately aware, and amazed, seeing no customary urinals exclaimed, “Where are all the urinals?”, as I walked about seeking an answer. It was then it occurred to me I was not the Men’s, where I intended, but the Women’s facilities! It appeared my ‘dyslexia’ led me astray once again.

 

Lucky for me, no one else walked in while I was walking about talking to myself. Even luckier, was that it was the 90s and not today’s environment fomenting all sorts of hasty accusations which could lead leading to hostilities!

 

What has come to mind is ‘how many facilities for Women are placed to the left while the Men are on the right’ which sets up preferential treatment and attitude functioning? And, where is the practice the reverse, have there been studies to note with what effects and/or affectations accompany this? A small matter, subtle in fact, but a definite consideration wouldn’t you say/think?

 

 

Expecting:Projecting

A WIDOW’S SON

26/06/2017

Original

 

Once upon a time when I was but a child our mother, being the astute romantic, realized male-guidance was a requirement in my growth for which she was unnaturally predisposed. Having restricted economic resources her courses of action were sorely limited, especially in using her resources lawfully.

 

Subjected to rigorous influences, she sought out aesthetic avenues to guide my development using whatever means necessary. In her mind Literature was an available and essential avenue. The following is a selection of one of the literary vehicles used to influence/guide/coax me along my path while I grew in Life. I was often left to my own devices and the impressions of this expression sufficed:

 

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!

by Rudyard Kipling

 

Although there were stumbling blocks along my path then and since, for various reasons, few if any were aware the influences that the aforementioned poem had upon my life. Behaviours in response to my being allowed me awareness of what was perceived of my character/personality, albeit just the tip of the iceberg as many alive today are aware/unaware of similar influences and goings on in their daily lives.

 

As you proceed, I bid you all adequate/appreciable support mechanism…

 

 

1c-wandering-mind-c-55

II Thessalonians C2: V6 – V12

I find it curious that politicians who pride themselves on their Christianity are absentminded on this portion of their belief practice, among many quotable others!??

 

Known

MIRROR MYSTERY ~ 2

22/06/2017

Time waits for no one, allowing us to occupy ourselves as we proceed in Life. I am now privy to another dimension of what was suggested to me back in 1984, adding to what I considered was my handsome appearance, good-looks, being an attractive Caribbean male. This has taken me a while, what my supervisor hinting for me to realize I was a black man in a white-dominated society behaving as if I was simply in a world of human beings visually aware of my skin colour, and with whom I could still engage openly/freely?

 

Curiously, those around me gave no pause in this regard save a few reluctant ones who held biases with which to manage my behaviour in their regard. It appears my untoward upbringing, with its disadvantages, awarded me fundamental carefree behaviours and I was charged to learn to rein myself in according to cultural values and socially imposed limitations. In keeping with these, and other revelations about my Caribbean foundation, I have had quite the time doing this throughout my life.

 

Interestingly, I did receive some timely feedbacks along my route after arriving in this country, throughout earlier school years:
high school, I seemed overly philosophical; university professors, my reasoning processes was in a minority and would create a difficult Life; Teachers College, more power than comprehended; finally, an Industrial Psychologist informed me that unless I learned to rein in how I expressed my intellectual self, I will lose whatever intimate relationship I may desire.

 

That final statement, spearheading many other unmentionables, have proven my current living conditions as forewarned. I am living alone, and my understanding of the processes accommodating those observations are only contributing factors of a larger scenario. Like you, if you have read this far, I am a work in progress. To what end is a matter of conjecture, which is nothing new when I consider all the conjectures by others already experienced, and yet to experience.

 

There you have it, as I go into my next Life experiences…

 

 

18. Riding in BC '07

FACT-FINDING ~ 1

21/06/2017

Data-Gathering

 

Upon regaining consciousness on waking, what is the first conscious thought/feeling to course through your mind with which you approach the day, carry-overs/new/beginnings? Care/able/willing-to-share?

 

 

41b. Water-Spout

MIRROR MYSTERY

17/06/2017

Mirror Mystery    1

Once upon a time when I was a younger man, appearing more dynamic, behaving as I ought under past unaware/unknown influences, for unexplained reasons my then supervisor asked if I had ever looked at myself in the mirror? Awestruck, an unusual question to my mind, not to mention unusual to me, not knowing his referencing other than seeing my rather carefree behaviour while I interacted with those about me.

 

Upon quick reflection, my answer might have sounded glib, but it was in earnest. I replied to his question, “Yes, each time I brush my teeth and comb my hair in readiness for the day ahead.” To my answer, this man who was my superior in my vocation, came this admonition, “Next time, stand longer and look at yourself in the mirror.” To this offering I was even more perplexed, but verbally assented to do as much and waited through the years for his admonition to bear fruit.

 

Time went on, we parted company as I transferred to another location to carry on in my vocation, all the while looking in the mirror only to see my self. Of course, as time went on I acquired data from others around me of my attractiveness as a man, and accepted it in kind as it was my belief that attractiveness and $3.00 would get me a special beverage from Timothy’s Cafe. This was back in the ‘80s.

 

The acceptance of being a good-looking Caribbean Man meant little to me as I was always picked on by female classmates in my childhood/youth, which I took to mean they didn’t like me. It took me a while to realize the import of this, as my assault for my good looks differed in cause about which I came to learn living in this culture. A book and its cover, the usual controversy, which I was to learn in its multi-facetted levels.

 

 

9. Pat M. & Don '86

When we were born our bodies were foreign objects to which we were to become accustomed. The journey was arduous, more so for some and ever more so for many altered by pre-natal accidents and post-natal violent exchanges. What was to come for survivors of these alterations, apart from those from growing into adulthood is a factor some strive to avoid, ignore, hoping those realizations are never to be engaged.

 

While growing into our varying levels of consciousness fingers and toes, tongues, major and minor motor functions ensued with onlookers in various modes of appreciation and apprehension. We, emotionally for the most part, strove to please and gain in agility throughout the early processes. Of course, more than required, were forced to continue in the emotional tug-of-war over our agility’s benefits on becoming athletically inclined.

 

What was overlooked in the process, in athleticism and day-to-day functioning? The gradual deterioration toward the inevitable many spend enormous amounts of currencies to postpone, deter and eliminate. I shall not debate or deliberate if this can, ought-to-be, or will in eventually be accomplished. Simply, that the evidence is there that the quest for immortality has been in the works for some time and is beyond the scope of this edition.

 

We survive, somehow, childhood into our formative years, through adolescence into adulthood stages resulting in senior years. It is then that the sense of truth in living this Life appear to reign in our consciousness, which is the reflection of this piece. Seeing and feeling the incessant creep of waning energies which, regardless of efforts, forces acceptance of the unknown denizens within the Abyss. The final frontier alluded to earlier in a popular TV show, this time going where many have gone before.

 

We leave behind our corporeal form, our living body, without the spark of consciousness whose origins have preoccupied so many philosophers and scientists. More often than not, the significance is consciously lost on those surviving. The transition into the hereafter is felt as a loss to that portion of Life’s Fabric comprising a reality unknown to the living, and only made worse by grief biased on the levels of intimacy felt and remembered.

 

S/he is not truly lost, as I and others ofttimes believe, but in onto the Actual Frequency of Existence from whence we all came. Our vehicles well used, or misused, depending on perspective, are what remain as evidence of our living experiences. Often full comprehended as few were privy to full disclosure even while we lived. The minutia of out remaining Time are results of individual choices previously made and include the adage of “what goes around, comes around”, whether or not believed and we do live to be recipients of those choices.

 

My two-cents worth, take ‘em or leave ‘em, live well – do good – love.

 

 

The Hug

In a by-gone era, there was a poem which resonated so much with the masses a that a soundtrack was designed to accompany it over the radio-waves of the ‘70s/‘80s. What was rarely known was that it was not the only poem discovered in that Old St. Paul Church in Baltimore of 1693. I am speaking of the fabled Desiderata that has since been infrequently resurrected.

 

Over a decade later, I discovered along one of my many walking routes, that other poem presented as a sequel. As is customary, sequels do not fare as well, and less welcomed when the original had such notoriety. It occurred to me this sequel required more from the listener/reader than the first, especially since it did not sound as romantic nor flowed as easily, possibly due to those requirements.

 

If you choose to read it through, let me know how you find its meanings and/or influence(s) on your sensibilities:

 
DESIDERTA II

In whatever religion you have been taught,
However you have been brought up, and
However you have understood your teachers…
on these levels you will understand and grasp this message.
It is not enough that this message be believed.
It is a message to be lived.

The essence of Universal Religion is Peace and Truth,
with Love for and Kindness all the creatures of the earth.
Now is the time to express this essence in your own life.
A beginning must be made, and the place to begin is with and in yourself.
You want to reform the world? Begin with yourself, brother (sister)!
The message of the unreformed reformer seldom inspires reformation.

The heart of all Religion is Love.
Love not only family and friends! —- for love limited is love denied.

Seek peace within yourself and seek, too, within yourself the Divine Breath of Life.

Persist in these things! Do not let up for a single moment!
Through your faith and through your deeds you shape your life and help shape the lives of others, as well. What a responsibility!

The Spirit finds in you Its agent and also Its partner, and to the degree that you are aware of this and act on it, your life is enriched.

A revelation will occur to you… a revelation higher than your exalted dreams.

A New Age is coming, and in it there will be a realization of the Oneness of all.
Differences between the various Religions will disappear. The good, which is in each of them, will be fused and will become the common goal of all mankind.

Know that you have the power to choose! Choose love, not hate; choose gentleness, not violence; choose holiness, not evil.

Dare to believe that the Reign of Love and Peace is coming soon!
Ready yourself for it! Ready yourself for it with deeds of righteousness!
Righteousness is the door-opener, and beyond the door is love.

May power divine enter every aspect of your life endowing it with the rewards of material accomplishments , the treasures of purposeful existence, and the eternal light of spiritual achievement!

Found in Old St. Paul’s Church, Baltimore, dated 1693

 
It impacted psychologically on my sensibilities, more deeply than the first but not to displace its predecessor’s emotional impact. I refer to this sequel occasionally, as needed; and, believe me, these days there is a need…

 

 

Focussing...

In Time…

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